2018-08-16
Yet another poem with a thunderstorm and hiding and another one that I loved. I love it from the very first verse. That "But I don't actually hear for real" comes neatly, and sets the mood for the rest of the poem.
Listen to Nathaniel Rateliff's "Once In A Great While". It's very close to my heart and given this piece, I have a feeling you'd love it just as much.

2018-08-09
Absolutely in awe of this. Definitely reading it again. I'd love to hear this recited! If you haven't yet heard of Keaton Henson, please do look up for his poems. They have a similar rhythm to yours. P.S. He's a heartbreakingly beautiful singer as well 💙

2018-08-09
I prefer this to the other rhyming pieces of yours.
Though I very much like this "Acquisitions were the coins of trade", it breaks an otherwise smooth flow.
I second with the overall theme of your poem.
As Justin Vernon sings in "Wisconsin", "love is love's return".

2018-08-06
Have I said before I absolutely love this structure of poems, the double spaces, the dragging of a line to the next and everything else? For this, I'd say " there-ness" serves perfectly as you still "cannot say", this gives that feeling as if the poem were happening right now as we read it, which is another thing I love about your poems. This was a beautiful love poem.

2018-08-05
Well, can't say I don't appreciate a nice bottom, and a poem to go with it

2018-07-23
The first thing that came to my mind was one of my favorite songs by Alter Bridge: Watch Over You.
I love the opening two lines. The rest has a general aura to it.

Since you're going with "To pave" to start with, the use of two "to"s in the following "to be able to" sounds awkward.

I'd prefer if you were more specific, more you in your pieces. For example, "If you want to really find me
Just search through your heart." This I've read a thousand times before. It goes without saying you should avoid clichés as such.

I've also noticed your writing in general has a lot of "I'll"(I will) or it's variations. Try writing some outside of your usual comfort zone.

2018-07-09
Nothing

2018-07-05
I understand that your foundation and involvement in poetry started from the music you listen to. My major influence in past few years has been songs as well but you need to differentiate between the two forms, especially the fact that in songs, music fills for the lack of structure or even coherence for that matter, while we only have words in here (and line breaks and yada yada I mean you get my point). Again as I say to most in here, ruminate some more. Don't just say things we've been hearing all our lives. Hope to read more, refined pieces from you.

2018-07-05
Of all the poems here, this involves less in a vague societal hatred and focuses more on the individual subject. It does need rework. I don't like the ".. myself flooded. Flooded in..." kind of poetic schemes myself. Also try minimizing the use of already existing and vastly exploited phrases like "muted mouths" and "silent melodies". Still I think this has got a better potential than the others.

2018-05-08
It's a warning, a "beware" so it's kind of justified but personally I've never liked the use of exclamations at all and only prefer them as a last alternative for any emotion

2018-04-22
The kind of poem you read over and over again. Made me think of Ulysses especially with the vividness of imagery and for the way it flows so effortlessly. It's music, and like music changes tempo, and unlike music does so only with words. I don't know if this is any way to talk about poems in here, but I absolutely went aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah while reading this

2018-04-02
Loved the poem and I somehow, quite pleasantly, read this in Billy Collins' voice.