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Tyr-fira

29 years old from




yeah...what that / \ says
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Musings of a Teenage Mind

Written 2005-10-18

I want to cry and laugh all at once. I want him so badly it hurts. Everytime he meets my eyes and smiles my skin tingles. Then my hear constricts, because why doesn't he speak to me? I will ask him I think. Everytime I see him with her I die a little. I can feel the tears just below the surface, but I batter them down, deny them.

How should I handle this? I need to talk with him, it can't just be ignored. If I do it will just disappear entirely. And I don't want our secret to die- I don't want it to be secret either.

"So have you thought about it anymore?"

I will be fake a while longer. This fake person is hard as stone, she can't be hurt. My escape from all pain. And he wants me. I know that he does. Gradually, patiently, I will reveal myself, let him see my softer side. The side that really does care, and can fall in love, and can be crushed.

I feel as though i can remember every detail of that night, but in reality its a blur. A very distinct and memorable blur.


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Diary

2005

October (1)