F.i.in.e Moods

- goes up to 30 Km/h... !

I had high hopes, also kept them realistic,

But it finally turns out, I was right!

This e-Scooter is perfect, it's absolutely fantastic!

Less pain, more freedom, added sincere delights!

- for those who don't know, my douce moitié is from England and he fell in love with a girl who lives in the heart of French Canada ... I find it really sweet when he tries to speak French with me... 

My douce moitié does not speak French,

He can understand without trouble reading it,

And he's definitely better at understanding

What people are saying when they speak,

But holding a conversation is not there yet.

I recognize that I probably didn't help much

Over the years with that, 'cause what I did

And do remove his opportunities for practice.

What I mean by that is that people here

Are majoritarily unilingual French,

So I find myself simultaneously translating

The conversations for two unilingual people

Trying to communicate to one another, and

My kids did and do the exact same thing too.

When two people want to talk together, but

Can't, it just feels wrong to not intervene.

It would kind of ruin the moment, too,

Being able to help, but not help when the

Context of the moment manifestly requires it.

But at the same time, I can see the problem

As far as him being able to practice his French.

- since 1997...

Women in Québec aren't allowed

By law to use their married name

In any official documents, only

Their family name at birth... 

I understand why they decided

To abolish that practice, makes

Sense and keeps records neater,

But it's a bit sad just the same.

Would have liked to be able to use my

Husband's name instead of my own,

Considering mine doesn't hold

Much in terms of love and affection.

Obviously, it isn't a big deal,

But it is a little disappointing.

We are Mr. & Mrs. C.,

But officially, we can't be,

Even though we're married.

Is it the same where you live?

- I loved my time in England, don't get me wrong... just this side was really unexpected... 

Apologies to my English friends,

It's not to criticize your home,

But as a foreigner stepping foot

For the first time in your region,

I couldn't help myself feeling

Taken aback at how much litter

There is pretty much everywhere.

On the coach from Heathrow,

Looking out the window, first

Thing I noticed all along the sides

Of the motorway, piles of litter!     (but I mean piles!)

Bottles, cans, wrappers, bags,

All kinds of garbage, so much

Of it, it was arrestingly shocking.

I've never seen anything like it.

And being in towns turned out just

As noticeably littered everywhere.

I don't understand why it's in

Such a state, to be honest.

Where I live, there is litter,

But it's an occasional affair,

Not the norm of every space!

Sorry, but it was truly shocking.

When I go to different countries,

My time isn't spent on finding

Differences between my home

And the new region I'm in, but

This, it just hits you in the face,

It's just absolutely everywhere.

Once upon a time,

Some years ago,

I used to make

You cry from

Sadness, and

Now, I believe

I'm making you

Cry from boredom

With what I write.

My sincerest

Apologies to you

For then sadness,

For now boredom.

The good side

To this, though,

Is that the pain

Which hounded

Me for so long

Is no longer

Around, but on

The flip side,

I evidently

Can't write

Anymore.

tu m'avais demandé quelle était

ma plus grande frustration de mon

vécu et je t'avais répondu que c'était

le sentiment d'avoir été

détruite par mes expériences.

tu m'avais alors demandé pourquoi

je me sentirais de cette façon

et je t'avais répondu que j'étais frustrée

de ne pas être plus loin dans mon

progrès à me rebâtir de ces choses-là,

que ce fait était la preuve qu'ils ont gagné,

et je suis trop faible pour m'en remettre ;

c'est extrêmement frustrant...

bien sûr, tu n'étais pas d'accord, mais

je sais que t'avais compris mes paroles.

rough translation...

you'd asked me what was

my greatest frustration from

all I've been through and I'd answered you that it was

the feeling of having been

destroyed by my experiences.

you'd then asked me why

I'd ever feel that way

and I'd answered you that I was frustrated

about not being further ahead in my

progress at rebuilding myself from these things,

that this fact was the proof they won,

and I'm too weak to recover;

it's extremely frustrating...

of course, you didn't agree, but

I know you'd understood what I was saying.

- CBT... trying to resolve anxiety/phobia issues...

Not sure it's a good idea,

But I'm provoking anxiety

In order to face and tackle it,

As-and-when it happens.

Confronting situations

I'm unable to deal with,

Challenging myself

To do what I fear most,

All for the purpose of

Learning to manage it.

I'm told it's with practice

That I'll find my way.

Sincerely hope that's true,

'Cause at the very moment,

It's feeling like a drawn out,

Slow torture that won't end.