Jackson is headed for Columbia,

Co—lum—bi—a,

but Dewey heads for Chicago to meet with Fast Eddie Gutierrez.

Fast Eddie is looking at life plus ninety-nine, and he’s copping a plea, 

dropping the heavyweight down to something manageable.

Even so, he'll be pushing a zimmer before he gets out.

In any event, the Feds have bigger fish to catch down south,

and Fast Eddie's the bait. So he talks—

he and Dewy and Moe, and two badges, drive around Chicago,

Fast Eddie pointing out the relevant spots, naming names.

He’s cooperating, he’s being a good boy, sensible,

so they stop for oysters and a beer—Dewey and Moe head downtown

and Fast Eddie runs for it while one of the badges is taking a piss

and the other is watching the game.

He ends up in Downer’s Grove, holed up in a motel, waving a pistol.

Dewey and Moe drive down, ask the local boys to back off

before someone gets hurt.

Moe approaches Eddie's room with his hands up.

He says, "Eddie, you dumb fuck, what the fuck are you doing? 

Put down your fucking gun, you dumb fuck, before we kill the fuck out of you."

Eddie comes out with his hands up.

The three of them drive back to the city, Moe shaking his head the whole time.

"Eddie," he says, "you dumb fuck, what the fuck were you thinking?"