Tired out

How can I love you, being such a monster of deceit
and double standards, volatile capriciousness
and no reliability at all, save for abscondence?
I have always loved you but have never reached you,
as if your life's sport was never to get caught
or even grasped or even palpably definable.
Our love is a cruel game of hide and seek,
and when at last I had you for myself
you proved as fleeting as a shadow,
as if all you wanted was to get away,
while I was stuck with desperately missing you.
Your darkness never scared me, on the contrary,
your main attraction was to me your minefield
of experimenting wildly with your human research,
but I could never be a part of it.
That's maybe what was separating us from the beginning:
your precarious recklessness in absolute demands
for ruthless independence in your freedom,
while I never settled for a compromise in love:
I had to have it all and all of you,
while you reserved your best part
for the possibility to leave and get away.
The worst part is, that I can love you but the more
for your evasiveness in your perpetual refuge
to vainly chase your shadow even into darkness.

Poetry by Christian Lanciai The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 269 times
Written on 2016-06-03 at 15:24

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Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
The first three lines got me in. The feeling running through this is powerful disdain. I like it.