October 21st 1966

50 years


We learned about the 5ws in primary


When we laughed 

As we should

And we held hands and skipped

And kicked a ball in the alley

Tween your house and mine.










Ever since


Those 5ws

Have slowly been hauled about.

Becoming a frozen child at my hip

A demanding grizzly burden

Of your restless Unfulfilleds


The hours lost to the pondering

Of how me?


That particulat w I always questioned 


Even Before


The abstract idea of teaching a child 

That a "w" is in fact an "h"

Just doesnt make sense


Almost as surreal as thinking that children

Dont feel grief 

Or have burning questions

That eat them

Like a mountain can swallow schools

And leave a scar on a community

Or a hip


So, Ever Since


I look on my aging skin

Above that hip

Your names are tattoed in guilt 


In ink the colour of open wounds

Underlined in those Unfulfilleds 


Those turgid mind games pestering us survivors

At every birthday or,

celebration when your abscence fills the room


Who - would you have grown to be?

What - would I say if I had the chance?

When - will it be over?

How - did this happen?

Why - consistent. Why was I allowed to live?


Where- this one is played in minor chords 

Of children stuck indoors


This name knocks on my door

It is there in the morning sky

And in the music of the river


It is staring at me from my cereal bowl

And loitering in the coffee shop


It hangs on my Sunday suit

And stretches along the sun's fingers

As they reach over the mountain top


And the birds know the name

As they call dawn and dusk 






Poetry by LFD3
Read 172 times
Written on 2016-10-11 at 23:03

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Kathy Lockhart The PoetBay support member heart!
This brings honesty of a life lived fully with all its hopes and dreams and then the realities of living, not in dreams, but in wide awake life. It has pain and sorrow but still hope remains. As it is with children and mothers or fathers who love unconditionally, eternally.

That is where it touches me.

This is amazing. I'm definitely going to come back to it again and again. There is something so intimate in this. Yes, I too wondered why how was a w when I was younger, but I never asked, like you have so artfully done. And so much more.