Old Woman

I saw an old woman
sitting at the beach
Her skin like brown parchment
Her eyes almost dim.

I thought, old woman,
my life is the same as yours
I used sun block while you used baby oil
But all in all we were the same

I rode the waves on a flat board
and dove the ocean depths
I bet you did the same when you saw the corals red
Now almost all I find are white corals that are dead

You had romances and heart breaks
Just as I've had my share
My heart aches just like yours
I know that pain that lingers there
Ashe~






Poetry by Ashe
Read 320 times
Written on 2016-12-16 at 23:45

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Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
Sad and beautiful. I like to think of the lives others have had when I see them. I think all poets are observers who write about others to tell of themselves. I likes this.
2016-12-22



Why did you rhyme in the last two stanzas and not the first two really messed up the flow of the poem.
2016-12-22


Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
Well done.
2016-12-17



good one, i like the last stanza
2016-12-17


Bibek
I love it. It is universal yet particular at the same time. The way you evoke emotions with images is really praiseworthy.
2016-12-17


Kathy Lockhart The PoetBay support member heart!
Time, place, circumstance may make us different but in truth we are all the same in the wholeness of life. Your poetry so profoundly speaks of this through comparisons of choices and nature, and our the nature of our choices.
I "hear" such a tender voice in your words.
2016-12-17


one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
this is universal, we begin to see ourselves in others as we pass from glorious youth to semi-glorious, or completely inglorious . . . middle age or whatever. shades of neil young here, "Old man take a look at my life . . . " anyway, it's all true, and the bleached coral makes hash of our progress as one generation passes to the next. if you ever see an old man, brown of skin, sitting on the beach, say 'hi,' it could be a close friend of otp's.
2016-12-16