MESSAGE AT THE BOTTOM


thanks for the ego boost


yeah
i'm broken and bleeding
angry and vengeful
hurting and hateful
despairing, decrying
this life~
crimson, do those crayons
come in crimson?
i'll write you a poem.
i am
sick and tired
an ember on fire
no longer.
just a glow in the shadows
a gleam in the eye
a passing thought
that said goodbye
right before it jumped in front
of a train
yeah
i'm choking on dreams
taking one for the team
as i silently scream:
would you like me to sing
you a song of cliche?
no?
blood and tears
and sweat and fears
soft breath, a yell
these feelings swell
to take me under -
again
read it before?
well read it again,
it's not your story
but MINE where i've been
so make your judgments
and call me cliche
but nevertheless
i'm human today



author's note: the word 'cliche' gets tossed around so carelessly... people come along and rate things they don't understand with a 1 or a 2 or a 3, not realizing (or not caring?) that for some people, poetry is like a diary - a way to let out REAL feelings, syphon off mad thoughts, think out life's situations... whatever is needed. encouragement, and not discouragement, is what is needed here on this site. does the above poem suck? could be. one man's trash is another's treasure, and the thing about cliches is that most of us can relate to them - that's why they've become cliches. don't let someone else's soul, stretched out, open and vulnerable in the form of a poem, be trash in your eyes. or, at the very least, don't discourage others from a craft that you yourself are not a master in... hate to break the news to ya, but you're no expert on poetry yourself, whoever you are. poetry is bigger than you can imagine. it encompasses everyone and everything. it was here before you came, it will be here when you're gone. be humbled, if you would be anything, when it comes to poetry.



Poetry by epohonci
Read 906 times
Written on 2005-08-06 at 20:27

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holybear
This is pretty good.
2006-04-06


Esti D-G The PoetBay support member heart!
Howdy epohonci - (how do you pronounce that and does it have an explanation?)
I loved your poem, I read it with a rap rythm (which maybe cliched in itself, heh heh ) but I really enjoyed half-singing it to myself and I loved the content which was the opposite of a cliche.
luv esti
2005-10-08


Commentally Ill
you missed a lot of cliches. i could help you with that, i'm good at cliches. we could write an epic cliche that would out cliche all the cliches that exist in this cliched existence.
2005-08-07


Sandy Collins
First of all this was an amazing poem and a pleasure to read this morning. Second I totally agree with never discourage a fellow poets writings. I am not a great poet, I write for myself. I let my emotions and mood dictact what comes out. It is a cheap form of therapy for me. Great poem and loved your author's comment. Tale care, Sandy
2005-08-07



I can only say YESS!!!
2005-08-06


chasingtheday The PoetBay support member heart!
ohh i have had many words/arguements over the use of the word cliche in the past - it seems to me people use it as an escape when commenting. personally i don't really like to break down poetry, i like reading and picking up on feelings rather than getting all technical about it, going so deep into the words that the plot is lost. poetry is a lot of things, fun and fears and our lives exposed :)
2005-08-06