This is fiction. I'm not this misogynistic.

New Year Parties

There’s mostly couples all around
That’s how these parties go I mean
I know this information now,
Though it's only recently gleaned
From years of being beaten down
By jealous boyfriends that it seems
Like almost a second nature
Or the lamest super power

I’ll drink I’ll drink I’ll drink enough
So I can have some fun in here
Though not enough to get roughed up
By some guy whose girl’s ass I’ve stared
At for five minutes. “He’s so buff
He must take steroids,” I whisper
Only for him to hear and beat
The living daylights out of me.

I’ll drink I’ll drink I’ll drink enough
So I no longer feel the pain
And if a girl asks I can bluff
The reason so that I can feign
A story full of some sob stuff
To get her number and her name
But wait, what’s this, she too has one
A boyfriend I mean, look she’s gone.

I’ll drink I’ll drink I’ll drink a lot
And talk to every girl I meet
Well not every girl just the hot
Ones who all have boyfriends it seems
Or girlfriends and with every shot
Who’s hot or not all gets blurry
And so I walk to the fat chicks
With head hung low, a throbbing dick

To be greeted with many fists
“You’ve been ranting your thoughts you know”,
They say, the fat girls, no the thick,
“Just shut the fuck up,” one says slow
As they proceed to land their kicks
On your dear humble narrator
Who’s drunk and drunk and drunk too much
And who’ll tomorrow need a crutch

Poetry by Sameen
Read 125 times
Written on 2018-01-02 at 23:17

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Ashe The PoetBay support member heart!
It's a good parody of New Year's Eve parties, which are way over-rated.