Fourth Draft.

I've been in awe of Justin's work for a long time and the structure of his songs, where more is left out than it is written and is later filled with music. Since, I have only words at my disposal, this is the best I could do.




For Justin Vernon

repitition   the key   to music:
to return and not necessarily home
although   to be home    is

to return
home

 

look, the yellow light's still standing, and you don't flow
look, down at your knees, 

a line from The Garden of Prosperine-
Today, you will have to walk

to the sea

 

your blind body remembers
the curved trail the beyond the skin of another 
beyond the reach of a hand
there are things you haven't seen
or touched-touchin-beingtouchededed-touched
to know how you feel    or    how to
that is not how it feels


i find i lose i find again
music i said
losing is forever


in June i was hoping to find what i didn't lose

that it is there, nevermind if not mine or for me    

 

when loving, i love all that happened

and does not anymore and all that happens

still 

 

so if i see someone in you
i see you in someone too

 

i told you to make a mark

because the mind pales

and you can't tell what was from what was not

 

ask for the truth

whose end left you here, ask only one thing
did you ever trust someone with a song?
so, now you know





Poetry by Praveen Bhusal
Read 51 times
Written on 2018-08-09 at 15:04

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Praveen Bhusal
I've been writing non linear structures for about two years now, long before I knew of jm. It's a different thing I wrote them mostly as prose and not poetry. I deeply admire jim's work and I am happy to consider him a great influence for this, but I owe it more to Joyce, and as I already mentioned, Justin. Quite a thing they're all J's right?
2018-08-10


Bibek
When it comes to style, voice, diction, word choice, word order, lineation, the unusual punctuation and the unconventional breaking of syntax, you owe a great debt to one trick pony aka jim. Voice should evolve slowly as you first learn the heritage of words, then learn to disregard it. That way, poetry you write becomes both ancient and modern at the same time. Sorry for my dialectical lecture, but I know you already know this. Nonetheless, your poem works well with this form, and I cherish the gentleness of your words.

Best,
Bibek
2018-08-10