Life Overboard (Ring the Bell)

Far below, under your ocean
Underneath all of our depths
Live nagging thought rejections
The things a life never forgets
Yesterday’s boldest ambition
Dances with that shining hope
The house on pleasant avenue
The jobs bosses didn't promote
The dreams of social standing
With recognition or an award
But they never come to surface
Nor even wash up on a shore.




Poetry by Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
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Written on 2018-07-06 at 14:49

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Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
Thank you Thomas DeFreitas and Ashe for the applauds :)
2018-07-08


Ashe The PoetBay support member heart!
I love the way you wrote this one with the metaphor running to the bottom of the ocean. Good one.
Ashe
2018-07-07


Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
A big thank you to ken d williams and Coo & Co again for the applauds :)
2018-07-07


Coo & Co The PoetBay support member heart!
Another fine piece, Friend D.

We like the regular rhyme scheme and the setting of the poem at sea. The word 'Dances' lends some vibrancy, and in connection with the final two lines it bestows a strong sense of unleashed energy. We attempt to convey this with movement, and are reminded of our FT's occasionally restless legs. (Last night FT was drifting off to sleep, only to wake herself up with an enormous kick. Foolish FT.)

Anyway... the mood feels quite melancholic, and it is well sustained. A seal surfaces, clapping for thee :>)
2018-07-06