To Lose All Meaning
Because your smile, although might
be worth everything, was
not everything, I made
myself think of the words
you had spoken and how you had spoken them.
The first that came to mind was "Praveeeeeeen"
Like you said it would sound
if you were to call me from far across
a field of corn.
Then, you say
"I need a sonnnnnnng" as if every next minute
I made you wait, you would only
think of death.
And when it was your turn
to do the same
you'd add at the end "You don't get to share this" or
"It means something to me"
By the third, I learnt
both meant the same thing.
I also learnt:
A meaning was a story,
one you once lived with the song.
If we were still awake by the time
the night was almost over,
you would show what you had
locked away in them. We made ourselves
in things we will keep from the world.
that part of you
was to become a part of me too?
But the absence burnt
and taught me hatred.
To hate was to remember it wrong.
And it does not go easy, not without taking
more than what it came with.
I said to myself,
if everything were to go away, whatever would remain
was mine to keep.
I did try and
since could not forget,
set out to lose all meaning:
I would, one by one, say it all
Poetry by Praveen Bhusal
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Written on 2018-08-06 at 14:54
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