Written in January of this year, about 2 months before my dad's passing.

A Lenten Sky

A lenten sky,

a sky of ash.

Almost sunless,


this afternoon.

Since I don't drive,

I'm waiting for


Uncle Bill

and Aunt Dee 

to pick me up


and take me to

Salem, fifteen

miles away, where


Dad has been 


this past week.


The view above 

the rectory

across the street


offers no comfort,

no ease for the heart. 

A cold and gray



After ten minutes,

their car pulls up.


I get inside,

and we start to

chat about


this and that 

as we head north,

and I grow warm



with the car's heat 

and with our



Poetry by Thomas DeFreitas The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 98 times
Written on 2018-11-05 at 13:47

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StillHoppin The PoetBay support member heart!
Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but this seems to focus on the minutia of the day you're writing about. It seems (purposely) bland, almost polite in tone, cursory, as it stays to small details, keeping the focus carefully away from what this poem seems to be about, which is your father. By focusing on these other things, and avoiding emotional statements, the strength of the emotion evoked by your father's hospitalization comes across strongly. And I love it especially, because that is how our minds often work in such difficult moments. We're suddenly studying the threads on our shoes, or noticing the cracks in the walls, anything to avoid facing what's really on our minds.

Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
Nice. That's how such encounters work when they work correctly.