Written in January of this year, about 2 months before my dad's passing.




A Lenten Sky

A lenten sky,

a sky of ash.

Almost sunless,

 

this afternoon.

Since I don't drive,

I'm waiting for

 

Uncle Bill

and Aunt Dee 

to pick me up

 

and take me to

Salem, fifteen

miles away, where

 

Dad has been 

hospitalized

this past week.

 

The view above 

the rectory

across the street

 

offers no comfort,

no ease for the heart. 

A cold and gray

 

totality.

After ten minutes,

their car pulls up.

 

I get inside,

and we start to

chat about

 

this and that 

as we head north,

and I grow warm

 

eventually

with the car's heat 

and with our

 

togetherness.





Poetry by Thomas DeFreitas The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 35 times
Written on 2018-11-05 at 13:47

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StillHoppin The PoetBay support member heart!
Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but this seems to focus on the minutia of the day you're writing about. It seems (purposely) bland, almost polite in tone, cursory, as it stays to small details, keeping the focus carefully away from what this poem seems to be about, which is your father. By focusing on these other things, and avoiding emotional statements, the strength of the emotion evoked by your father's hospitalization comes across strongly. And I love it especially, because that is how our minds often work in such difficult moments. We're suddenly studying the threads on our shoes, or noticing the cracks in the walls, anything to avoid facing what's really on our minds.
2018-11-07


Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
Nice. That's how such encounters work when they work correctly.
2018-11-06