Posh Accent

 

When soft sounds

slip out of your

sweet lips

 

and fly to reach

my tone-deaf ears,

a demigod-like image

 

swaying to the breeze

by the moonlit

riverside floats

 

in my mind—

lady with honeyed breath,

how I wish to suck

 

the cadence

out of your small,

ripe mouth!

 

 

Bibek Adhikari





Poetry by Bibek
Read 176 times
Written on 2019-05-28 at 13:34

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Very juicy poetry
2019-05-29


Coo & Co The PoetBay support member heart!
This is very well presented, Bibek. As you might recall, members of Coo & Co favour sentence case in poetry, finding that it aids our reading. But there are many other things to enjoy here, not least the well-placed enjambments, imagery, and dash of romantic comedy too. We're not sure whether you were aiming for 'rom-com' exactly, but it appeals to us in that frame :>)
2019-05-29


Sameen
The poem seems to be stuck between choosing between irony and sincerity. I'd prefer the former but the poem as it is is very pretty. I think it can be more though.
2019-05-29



A well-crafted portrait/moment!
2019-05-29


Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
Nice!
2019-05-28


one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
very nice
tone-deaf is not an impediment to allure
would the allure be lost if the sound fell on deaf ears
2019-05-28