Posh Accent


When soft sounds

slip out of your

sweet lips


and fly to reach

my tone-deaf ears,

a demigod-like image


swaying to the breeze

by the moonlit

riverside floats


in my mind—

lady with honeyed breath,

how I wish to suck


the cadence

out of your small,

ripe mouth!



Bibek Adhikari

Poetry by Bibek
Read 176 times
Written on 2019-05-28 at 13:34

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Very juicy poetry

Coo & Co The PoetBay support member heart!
This is very well presented, Bibek. As you might recall, members of Coo & Co favour sentence case in poetry, finding that it aids our reading. But there are many other things to enjoy here, not least the well-placed enjambments, imagery, and dash of romantic comedy too. We're not sure whether you were aiming for 'rom-com' exactly, but it appeals to us in that frame :>)

The poem seems to be stuck between choosing between irony and sincerity. I'd prefer the former but the poem as it is is very pretty. I think it can be more though.

A well-crafted portrait/moment!

Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!

one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
very nice
tone-deaf is not an impediment to allure
would the allure be lost if the sound fell on deaf ears