i ask marketa if she wants 

me to go in with her   she does not

so i sit in the waiting 

room   imagining the worst   which

is how i face

problems   i know that no

matter what   she will face whatever 

comes with equanimity

i carry worry in my eyes   i can't 

hide it   i want to be an optimist   it 

would make my 

life easier   and easier on those around me

but i'm not wired that way   anyway

it may be nothing

~

it's nothing   okay   it isn't nothing   but

it is nothing that a

little procedure won't fix   i

sigh a large sigh of relief   and

feel human

and vulnerable   i mean   she

is the love of my life   we're in

it together   for the

long haul   and for all the other

cliches about love that don't come

to mind at the

moment   we celebrate the nothingness with

frozen yogurt   i like vanilla coffee orange   she

likes salted caramel   that's life