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Son in law by Ann Wood

One boiled son-in-law got tired of constantly sawing his mother-in-law and decided to cut a number
Using the time when the mother-in-law was on the market, he cut a hole in the kitchen table. He crawled underneath her and stuck his head into the opening. The tablecloth hung to the floor, hiding his body. He pre-cooked a few more things and pre-poured ketchup all over his head.
Now imagine what the cheeky old woman saw upon entering the kitchen after the market. On the tablecloth, a puddle of blood, and among her a son-in-law's head, with tongue protruding and eyes closed.
The crowd shrieked with such a voice that a poorly placed chandelier came crashing down the pumpkin from a lover of live scenes. The son-in-law, in the interest of truth, did not faint, but began to scream and swear loudly. The same, having heard the mother-in-law's severed head cursing at her mother, completely roasted and threw in her head the newly bought three-liter jar of tomato paste. Naturally, the jar fell right at the head of the joker, which was apparently the strength of the concrete slab, because the jar broke and the contents scattered around, further adding color to the picture. The son-in-law lost consciousness and remained under the table, this time really looking like a corpse. The grandmother, with a howl that resembled the howl of a clogged coffee grinder, descended on the police station, which was in a neighboring building. The arrival of the cops felt bad from the apocalyptic picture and even rushed to the door when the head, scared and all in a clot, lifted her eyelids, rolled her eyes and screamed:
-Mom! Your mom! You motherfucker! Mom!
The one fits, and with it one of the cops, with a weaker psyche. The other one turned out to be stronger and began to flutter to the head:
-You..you mean it, show your ID!
-I'll show you now-whispered head-Wait a minute, I'll go out and show you!
Apparently, the opportunity to see a flying head in the kitchen looking for his ID card impressed the cop because he came down to the door shouting "Help! Vampires "for reinforcement. When the entire police department, with a weapon ready to fire, rushed into the apartment son-in-law, he was still covered in ketchup, already ringing in the Emergency Room.
The result of this:
The mother had received a hypertensive crisis and was no longer hooked; he spent several days in a hooliganism detention center. One cop started stuttering and the other grinned silly when he saw ketchup bottles.

Short story by Ann Wood