A true story about my fight in trying to keep a squirrel off my bird feeder.
I try to get along with all animals. I love all animals small and large. I never thought that any animal would aggravate me to a crazed mode. One small beady-eyed creature would rattle my temper. It would cause me to resort to insane measures to rid my life of this critter. This creature was a red squirrel. This squirrel is hardly bigger than a robin, the whole species generally known for its feistiness and raiding of bird feeders.
I love watching birds and enjoy feeding them. I had visited a friend's house and noticed he had installed a wooden platform outside attached to the window. This way the birds could be viewed up close when they fed. I was eager to dash to the hardware store and install my own platform feeder.
I had battled with a red squirrel before; this is when I lived next to a woods. I hung a bird feeder off a pine tree branch. I tried unsuccessfully to keep this red squirrel off my feeder. I first chased away the red squirrel whenever I saw it on the feeder. I also wrapped plastic wrap around the top of the feeder and slapped petroleum jelly on top. This did not deter the red squirrel. It would leap nimbly off the branches on to the side of the feeder, avoiding the top.
I thought that if I installed a platform feeder any red squirrel would not be able to reach it. There was no tree nearby or telephone pole for it to jump off to reach the feeder. There was only the roof of the house up above; I did not think a red squirrel would leap fifteen feet from the roof to the feeder down below. There was the roof of an enclosed porch below where I wanted to install the platform. The nearest tree from the enclosed porch was fifteen feet away.
I installed the platform outside my bedroom window and placed a wooden bird feeder on top. I also hung a suet cage on the side. I made my own suet and filled the feeder with black sunflower seeds. I waited for the word to spread among the bird populace that a new snack station was out. Soon I was counting many species of birds visiting the feeder daily.
One day, to my disgusted amazement a red squirrel was draining my feeder of seeds. I pounded on the window; it continued to stuff its face. I pounded louder and yelled, it still filled its face with seeds.
After this the red squirrel returned every day. I thought if I made sure the feeder was always full, I would not have a problem. However the problem became more aggravating. This red squirrel was not content in stuffing its face with seeds; it had to drag the feeder off the platform on to the porch roof below. This rankled my temper. Nothing irked me more than hanging out the window in the winter with a broom handle trying to snag the rope on top of the feeder. This happened often. Sometimes the red squirrel dragged the feeder too far away to reach with the broom handle. I tried to snag the feeder with a thin, long plastic pipe, but the pipe was too flexible to be of much use. The only way to retrieve the feeder was to climb out of the window over the platform and down to the porch roof. I boiled over. I was determined I would find a way to keep this red squirrel off my feeder. A notion developed in my mind that if I frightened the squirrel so drastically, it would not want to come back. So began a battle with a determined foe. I soon discovered that no animal is more determined and persistent than a red squirrel.
My younger brother mentioned to me that he could kill the squirrel. I did not hate the red squirrel enough that I wanted its life extinguished. The squirrel had a right to live and eat as much as any other animal. The red squirrel thought I was helping it out by putting out a nice buffet of sunflower seeds. I was certain that if I jangled its nerves it would stay away.
I devised my first plan. I placed my stereo next to the open window. I waited and the red squirrel soon came. It was so bold to fill its tummy even though the window was open and I was sitting on the other side. I let it stuff its mouth for a few moments. I turned the volume knob up to the maximum and switched the stereo on and let the music blare! The red squirrel zoomed off the feeder in a fast flash of red. A point for me! It returned the next day and I let the music rock again. Still it returned again; blasting music was not much of a deterrent for this animal. I then formulated my next attack. I waited in front of the open window armed with a squirt bottle. The red squirrel stood on the feeder and stretched its head forward, peering into the room. I nailed it in the face with a nasty squirt of water. I gave it another squirt; the shock of cold water caused the red squirrel to leap off the feeder. The next day when it returned, I nailed the red squirrel in the back end with a squirt. Of course it showed up the next day after, so I retired the squirt bottle and proceeded to hatch more plans.
Would I ever stop the war? If you have a persistent foe it will make you more persistent also. I would not give up the fight! My brother offered again to kill the red squirrel; I still refused this solution. I asked him to climb out on the porch roof to retrieve the feeder that had again been dragged down by the red squirrel.
My brother informed me that because his mind was more clever than mine, he could think up a better plan. My brother thought that if music and water did not deter the red squirrel perhaps the noise of another animal would frighten it more. He could not imitate a cat, but he could imitate a barking dog. He waited in front of the open window. When the red squirrel showed up and peered into the room, my brother let loose from his throat his best imitation of a barking dog I ever heard. He barked, he howled and he bayed. The red squirrel shot off the feeder and careened off the roof. The next day, the red squirrel did not come to the feeder.
Was it success at last? I rejoiced, at last my feeder was safe! The next few days the red squirrel was absent. The rejoicing did not last for very long. It showed up again filling its face with seeds. What other evil schemes did my brother devise? The next time he parked himself in front of the open window with a large, thick rubber band. When the red squirrel showed up, he snapped it in the back end with the rubber band. Next time my brother waited with the long plastic pipe I had tried to use to retrieve my feeder off the roof. When the red squirrel showed up, my brother poked the squirrel off the feeder. His next action later was to brandish his fist out the window and punch the red squirrel off the feeder.
Perhaps it is slightly funny to know what lengths two people will go to fighting with a red squirrel. Perhaps it is slightly cruel to know what was done to this poor critter. I gave up after all this. If this red squirrel was willing to put up with load music, water squirting, human dog barking, rubber band snapping, pipe poking, and fist punching to have its fill of seeds, why should I stop it? I knew it was hopeless to stop it. I tired of the battle. I could occupy my time with better pursuits. I had to learn to live with this gutsy creature. It was only one red squirrel!
After the war was over, another red squirrel decided to visit the feeder. Both squirrels proceeded to fight over the feeder every morning before sunrise. When a red squirrel chatters it sounds like a rapid succession of an air being pumped into a bicycle tire. Double that noise and you can see why it was not pleasant to be woken up by these rude creatures. Looking out the window one morning, it literally looked like a boxing match. Both red squirrels were punching each other with their front feet.
It was hopeless to keep one red squirrel off the feeder; I was not about to start a war with another. I let the two red squirrels battle it out every morning for the rest of the winter. The next year we moved out of state, the platform and the feeder ended up in the trash.
Words by Amy Buchanan
Read 584 times
Written on 2006-10-11 at 04:25
Tags Battle
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The Battle with the Red Squirrel
I try to get along with all animals. I love all animals small and large. I never thought that any animal would aggravate me to a crazed mode. One small beady-eyed creature would rattle my temper. It would cause me to resort to insane measures to rid my life of this critter. This creature was a red squirrel. This squirrel is hardly bigger than a robin, the whole species generally known for its feistiness and raiding of bird feeders.
I love watching birds and enjoy feeding them. I had visited a friend's house and noticed he had installed a wooden platform outside attached to the window. This way the birds could be viewed up close when they fed. I was eager to dash to the hardware store and install my own platform feeder.
I had battled with a red squirrel before; this is when I lived next to a woods. I hung a bird feeder off a pine tree branch. I tried unsuccessfully to keep this red squirrel off my feeder. I first chased away the red squirrel whenever I saw it on the feeder. I also wrapped plastic wrap around the top of the feeder and slapped petroleum jelly on top. This did not deter the red squirrel. It would leap nimbly off the branches on to the side of the feeder, avoiding the top.
I thought that if I installed a platform feeder any red squirrel would not be able to reach it. There was no tree nearby or telephone pole for it to jump off to reach the feeder. There was only the roof of the house up above; I did not think a red squirrel would leap fifteen feet from the roof to the feeder down below. There was the roof of an enclosed porch below where I wanted to install the platform. The nearest tree from the enclosed porch was fifteen feet away.
I installed the platform outside my bedroom window and placed a wooden bird feeder on top. I also hung a suet cage on the side. I made my own suet and filled the feeder with black sunflower seeds. I waited for the word to spread among the bird populace that a new snack station was out. Soon I was counting many species of birds visiting the feeder daily.
One day, to my disgusted amazement a red squirrel was draining my feeder of seeds. I pounded on the window; it continued to stuff its face. I pounded louder and yelled, it still filled its face with seeds.
After this the red squirrel returned every day. I thought if I made sure the feeder was always full, I would not have a problem. However the problem became more aggravating. This red squirrel was not content in stuffing its face with seeds; it had to drag the feeder off the platform on to the porch roof below. This rankled my temper. Nothing irked me more than hanging out the window in the winter with a broom handle trying to snag the rope on top of the feeder. This happened often. Sometimes the red squirrel dragged the feeder too far away to reach with the broom handle. I tried to snag the feeder with a thin, long plastic pipe, but the pipe was too flexible to be of much use. The only way to retrieve the feeder was to climb out of the window over the platform and down to the porch roof. I boiled over. I was determined I would find a way to keep this red squirrel off my feeder. A notion developed in my mind that if I frightened the squirrel so drastically, it would not want to come back. So began a battle with a determined foe. I soon discovered that no animal is more determined and persistent than a red squirrel.
My younger brother mentioned to me that he could kill the squirrel. I did not hate the red squirrel enough that I wanted its life extinguished. The squirrel had a right to live and eat as much as any other animal. The red squirrel thought I was helping it out by putting out a nice buffet of sunflower seeds. I was certain that if I jangled its nerves it would stay away.
I devised my first plan. I placed my stereo next to the open window. I waited and the red squirrel soon came. It was so bold to fill its tummy even though the window was open and I was sitting on the other side. I let it stuff its mouth for a few moments. I turned the volume knob up to the maximum and switched the stereo on and let the music blare! The red squirrel zoomed off the feeder in a fast flash of red. A point for me! It returned the next day and I let the music rock again. Still it returned again; blasting music was not much of a deterrent for this animal. I then formulated my next attack. I waited in front of the open window armed with a squirt bottle. The red squirrel stood on the feeder and stretched its head forward, peering into the room. I nailed it in the face with a nasty squirt of water. I gave it another squirt; the shock of cold water caused the red squirrel to leap off the feeder. The next day when it returned, I nailed the red squirrel in the back end with a squirt. Of course it showed up the next day after, so I retired the squirt bottle and proceeded to hatch more plans.
Would I ever stop the war? If you have a persistent foe it will make you more persistent also. I would not give up the fight! My brother offered again to kill the red squirrel; I still refused this solution. I asked him to climb out on the porch roof to retrieve the feeder that had again been dragged down by the red squirrel.
My brother informed me that because his mind was more clever than mine, he could think up a better plan. My brother thought that if music and water did not deter the red squirrel perhaps the noise of another animal would frighten it more. He could not imitate a cat, but he could imitate a barking dog. He waited in front of the open window. When the red squirrel showed up and peered into the room, my brother let loose from his throat his best imitation of a barking dog I ever heard. He barked, he howled and he bayed. The red squirrel shot off the feeder and careened off the roof. The next day, the red squirrel did not come to the feeder.
Was it success at last? I rejoiced, at last my feeder was safe! The next few days the red squirrel was absent. The rejoicing did not last for very long. It showed up again filling its face with seeds. What other evil schemes did my brother devise? The next time he parked himself in front of the open window with a large, thick rubber band. When the red squirrel showed up, he snapped it in the back end with the rubber band. Next time my brother waited with the long plastic pipe I had tried to use to retrieve my feeder off the roof. When the red squirrel showed up, my brother poked the squirrel off the feeder. His next action later was to brandish his fist out the window and punch the red squirrel off the feeder.
Perhaps it is slightly funny to know what lengths two people will go to fighting with a red squirrel. Perhaps it is slightly cruel to know what was done to this poor critter. I gave up after all this. If this red squirrel was willing to put up with load music, water squirting, human dog barking, rubber band snapping, pipe poking, and fist punching to have its fill of seeds, why should I stop it? I knew it was hopeless to stop it. I tired of the battle. I could occupy my time with better pursuits. I had to learn to live with this gutsy creature. It was only one red squirrel!
After the war was over, another red squirrel decided to visit the feeder. Both squirrels proceeded to fight over the feeder every morning before sunrise. When a red squirrel chatters it sounds like a rapid succession of an air being pumped into a bicycle tire. Double that noise and you can see why it was not pleasant to be woken up by these rude creatures. Looking out the window one morning, it literally looked like a boxing match. Both red squirrels were punching each other with their front feet.
It was hopeless to keep one red squirrel off the feeder; I was not about to start a war with another. I let the two red squirrels battle it out every morning for the rest of the winter. The next year we moved out of state, the platform and the feeder ended up in the trash.
Words by Amy Buchanan
Read 584 times
Written on 2006-10-11 at 04:25
Tags Battle
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
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