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NOTE: 2005 07 09 03H20 EST Lune - one of my french writings with translation as best as i could... french version is better in my opinion




Lune (with translation)


La lune brillera pour moi une de ces nuits?
(The moon will shine for me one of these nights?)

Partagera-t-elle ses doux rayons?
(Will it share its tender rays?)

Me caressera-t-elle à nouveau d’ici peu?
(Will it caress me again very soon?)

L’amour m’habite à l’idée de la retrouver.
(Love builds home in me just at the thought of finding it again.)



La joie souffle son air magique dans le creux de mon âme,
(Joy blows its magic air in the depth of my soul,)

J’imagine et je rêve la réunion de nos énergies.
(I imagine and dream our energies reuniting.)

Quel souvenir inoubliable! Les sensations vivent à tout jamais.
(What an unforgettable memory! The sensations live on forevermore.)

Peut-être m’accordera-t-elle une seconde chance précieuse... ?
(Maybe it'll grant me a second precious chance... ?)



La lune, dis-moi, tu brilleras pour moi une de ces nuits,
(Moon, tell me, you'll shine for me one of these nights,)

Ta beauté m’émerveillera jusqu’à mon dernier soupir;
(Until my last breath, I will marvel at your beauty)

Restera le mystère de ma vie le plus réconfortant de tout.
(You'll remain the most comforting mystery of my life.)

Tant de compromis je ferais pour revivre ton affection…
(So many compromises I would make to relive your affection...)






Words by F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 775 times
Written on 2005-10-07 at 06:00

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Individuality
love's light shines, sometimes the crecent, sometimes full :)
2007-03-03


betsy Firefly
Il est vraiment beau, ton poème!
La lune va briller pour toi seul, une nuit -
j'en suis sûre!! La petience et la foi, mon ami!!
2007-01-09


Onyeka Nwelue
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears...lol...let it fill my soul and down my fears...Celine Dion...I think French people have good chances in music.

I loved this.
2006-05-16


she
I guess seeing the moon while your back rests on a picnic table on a lonely night is for you a beauty that we will never understand the way you do.A very well written piece,my dear.I'm in awe:-)
2006-04-12


Sofiul Azam
Certainly this is a good poem, but I have a problem: did you write the French poem and then translate it into English yourself? or whose poem have you translated into English? I think it's your French poem; perhaps, I may be wrong (or why not right?).

Anyway, this translation which you have done with your "translating" passion and skill at work is really faithful to the original text. But certain liberties are taken as well, such as "J’imagine et je rêve la réunion de nos énergies.
(I imagine and dream our energies reuniting.)" but not great but very slight liberties you have taken. You have retained every punctuation mark from the French original in your translated version in English.

I have to rate this poem because this translation is done very skillfully (or the French original you might have written?) and deserves praise.
2005-10-15


Commentally Ill
this is beautiful, and the translations side by side look good. tries to read it:

la loonay breeyerah poor mwah oonay day cess noowees? ok, perhaps i should just stick to the english version ;)
2005-10-09


Zoya Zaidi
Makes me wish I knew french. I know how words are lost in translation.The poem, or any peace for that matter, losses it's spirit. I never try to translate my Urdu poetry in english or vice versa. If I have to, I fail misrably. Every language has it's own culture, it's own ethos... But some themes are universal, they come off well in every laguage...Like the moon here. Thanks for sharing.
2005-10-09


chasingtheday The PoetBay support member heart!
i agree with anna here on the french language, you could be saying mow the lawn now or you get no supper and it would sound romantic :) aye the moon, a sources of poetic themes for time, and madness of course luna - lunatics lol
2005-10-08


anna3
Beautiful especially the sound of these french language there is some spiritual climate in it I love read and enjoyed this poem a lot wonderful job
2005-10-07