Two dark years in the future of the Good Ship HMS Brittannia
He was quickly followed by Prezzer the cabin boy who had been caught rogering a female member of the crew. Prezzer would have been made to walk the plank anyway - so he was no loss - apart from the stress release on the hull as the plimsole line rose 6 feet on his disembarkation.
As HMS Brittannia sailed off into the darkest Horizon that it had seen in many a year, the next two years looking even bleaker, especially with another crooked pirate at the helm, the crew knew that they were heading for stormy waters.
With troops deployed all over the world in Iraq and Afghanistan, they waited with baited breath for the next conflict.
And as soon as you could say it, the ship was struck by the sea of national debt and negative equity, and her timbers began to shake as the rising interest rates slowly encapsulated her bow, she began to take on water.
The crew all dressed in their red communist uniforms struggled to lower the borrowing sails as they were caught in the wind of their own stupidity as they were so naive to beleive that they could be raised but were still invincible.
And as the HMS Brittannia was tossed and turned on every crashing wave of the sea, the decks were awash with bodies caught in the lie that Stalin had spun with prudence. And as Prudence was nowhere to be seen, as she had secretly jumped ship years ago, they were left to'ing a fro'ing on a sea of uncertainty knowing that the depths of the ocean were soon to swallow them up and they would never be seen again.
Stalin yelled commands from the bridge as they fought frantically - but no one listened as they had heard his lies so many times before over the last 10 years from which had come nothing.
Then suddenly as Interest rates suddenly rose over the side of the ship to quel the vast uncontrollable inflationary pressure, the ship gave out an almighty groan as her back was broken and she split in two, her gold and assets spilling overboard to be had by the speculators and to be devoured by the depths of the ocean.
Stalin cried out for Tony, "why hast thou forsaken me Tony, oh master" but he was nowhere to be seen and his shallow cries fell on the waves of the deep dark blue sea.
And as the ship split into two, her erect masts slowly folded inwards, she indignantly gave up the ghost and sank slowly towards the ocean floor, her crew drowning in debt with mortgage payments up to their ears so they could not breath.
And as their lungs filled, their silent drowned bodies were sucked under motionless to the world of economic uncertainty, twirling as dark silouhettes against the water's surface, backlit by the sun that was just breaking through the darkened crimson clouds.
She sank and sank until it began to get cold and dark, to the place where the sun's rays never shone. And she lie on the bottom of the ocean bed, HMS Brittannia all wrecked and twisted and littered with debris.
And the man Stalin who had taken all the credit for the sun rising and the moon setting and the tides turning was finally silent and motionless as his broken smelly body was torn to shreds by the prey of the ocean deep.
HMS Brittannia a once proud and illustrious ship, was now a wreck on the ocean floor. All because of a few pirates that were just out for themselves who would say anything to get people to vote for them, and would fiddle anything to make themselves look good.
And the moral of the story is:- don't Vote Labour or trust Tony Blair or Gordon Brown - they will take you under - Trust me! The Economic Bust is yet to come!
Batten down the hatches - as the the storm is really coming!! Lower your borrowing and get saving for that rainy day - as HMS Brittania is due for a right financial battering as Gordon Brown is sailing our ship into a sea of debt.
Labour - What a bunch of sharks!
Words by English War Veteran aged 98
Read 1047 times
Written on 2007-05-31 at 16:56
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Stalin becomes PM as the Rats desert the sinking ship
As stalin took his place at the helm of HMS Brittania, Captain smiley face the Bloody LIAR swiftly jumped ship with the rest of the ship's rats.He was quickly followed by Prezzer the cabin boy who had been caught rogering a female member of the crew. Prezzer would have been made to walk the plank anyway - so he was no loss - apart from the stress release on the hull as the plimsole line rose 6 feet on his disembarkation.
As HMS Brittannia sailed off into the darkest Horizon that it had seen in many a year, the next two years looking even bleaker, especially with another crooked pirate at the helm, the crew knew that they were heading for stormy waters.
With troops deployed all over the world in Iraq and Afghanistan, they waited with baited breath for the next conflict.
And as soon as you could say it, the ship was struck by the sea of national debt and negative equity, and her timbers began to shake as the rising interest rates slowly encapsulated her bow, she began to take on water.
The crew all dressed in their red communist uniforms struggled to lower the borrowing sails as they were caught in the wind of their own stupidity as they were so naive to beleive that they could be raised but were still invincible.
And as the HMS Brittannia was tossed and turned on every crashing wave of the sea, the decks were awash with bodies caught in the lie that Stalin had spun with prudence. And as Prudence was nowhere to be seen, as she had secretly jumped ship years ago, they were left to'ing a fro'ing on a sea of uncertainty knowing that the depths of the ocean were soon to swallow them up and they would never be seen again.
Stalin yelled commands from the bridge as they fought frantically - but no one listened as they had heard his lies so many times before over the last 10 years from which had come nothing.
Then suddenly as Interest rates suddenly rose over the side of the ship to quel the vast uncontrollable inflationary pressure, the ship gave out an almighty groan as her back was broken and she split in two, her gold and assets spilling overboard to be had by the speculators and to be devoured by the depths of the ocean.
Stalin cried out for Tony, "why hast thou forsaken me Tony, oh master" but he was nowhere to be seen and his shallow cries fell on the waves of the deep dark blue sea.
And as the ship split into two, her erect masts slowly folded inwards, she indignantly gave up the ghost and sank slowly towards the ocean floor, her crew drowning in debt with mortgage payments up to their ears so they could not breath.
And as their lungs filled, their silent drowned bodies were sucked under motionless to the world of economic uncertainty, twirling as dark silouhettes against the water's surface, backlit by the sun that was just breaking through the darkened crimson clouds.
She sank and sank until it began to get cold and dark, to the place where the sun's rays never shone. And she lie on the bottom of the ocean bed, HMS Brittannia all wrecked and twisted and littered with debris.
And the man Stalin who had taken all the credit for the sun rising and the moon setting and the tides turning was finally silent and motionless as his broken smelly body was torn to shreds by the prey of the ocean deep.
HMS Brittannia a once proud and illustrious ship, was now a wreck on the ocean floor. All because of a few pirates that were just out for themselves who would say anything to get people to vote for them, and would fiddle anything to make themselves look good.
And the moral of the story is:- don't Vote Labour or trust Tony Blair or Gordon Brown - they will take you under - Trust me! The Economic Bust is yet to come!
Batten down the hatches - as the the storm is really coming!! Lower your borrowing and get saving for that rainy day - as HMS Brittania is due for a right financial battering as Gordon Brown is sailing our ship into a sea of debt.
Labour - What a bunch of sharks!
Words by English War Veteran aged 98
Read 1047 times
Written on 2007-05-31 at 16:56
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
