It was grandfathers sense of fun that drew me every Wednesday to afternoon tea and rock cakes
But it was a compost heap that filled my Saturdays until Jennifer came
Sweet freckled Jennifer growing bumps served to bewitch me to other pastimes
She made me forget angling momentarily drew me like a ghost moth seeks the flame of the street lights
I was there by her side unable to hide this heart on my sleeve
Yet my grandparents believed we were swapping notes on irregular verbs
Until my eagle eyed grandmother laid my conscience bare
Made me blush for Jennifer - especially when she told my mother
Mother was admonishing, Mt father understanding - glad I had inherited his eye for beauty
Lovely as she was at Seventeen at fifteen Jennifer was a secondry diversion  
Fishing was my pastime - yet I recall thinking two summer on
Nothing quite so pretty as Jennifer growing bumps

For the uninitiated the task of nurturing a wormery disguised as a compost heap is no mean feat
It must be brought along slowly as one might a woman 
Laid with care and affection and at regular intervals turned on a firm bed
In simple terms grandfathers heap was not so much an amalgam of wild ingredients
But a simple layering of three sequential strata
A layer of earth to give it birth Then a layer of water soaked newspapers
I never quite understood why - and in the end didnt even try to understand Grandfather's logic
All I knew it produced the magic ingredient to lay the indefatigable pig manure
Just one layer of course or sometimes  that of a horse
Then would come the greenery
Lawn mowings, pruning ends the remains
Of horticultural 'jetsum'
Winsome flower heads used with a bed of lawn cuttings
Rotten fruit to give it zest, let mother nature do the rest

And yet a word of caution if one should think it easy
If it please ye never ever use the stems of woody shrubbery
And plants such as Dephiniums or Hollyhocks
They definately do not rock in a wormery
Only encourage ants you see the scourge of any worm
Hence the term 'Ants in your pants'
Of course I jest i think it best I relate
The important technical detail and keep out of gaol
Under no circumstance and dont look askance like that
Attempt to use horse manure straight from the horse
Much too acidic of course.
Let it loose to the vagaries of the weather
Wind, rain and sun will make it hum
Yet will neautralize the acid and render it placidly suitable
For a compost heap that thinks its a wormery