Red rain...


in a black and white day
puddles of thoughts despair
tip toe passed the sense of guilt
neglect fogs the air
the man in the moon has seen the joke
my reflection is no longer there
my shadow caught a different train
and my soul was unaware
that it was left alone
to bark with the dogs
at another black and white day
so i toss the coin
for another chance
it's tails and i lose again.

Red rain.



© Rik - 26/09/2007




Poetry by Rik The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 919 times
Written on 2007-09-27 at 00:20

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StillHoppin The PoetBay support member heart!
I absolutely *love* the line "tip toe passed the sense of guilt" - and if there's a surefire way to do that, maybe one of these days I'll figure it out :) and I hope that you're having a colorful day :) nice poem!
2013-03-17


mark nwagwu
this is as beautiful as it gets
2010-03-11


R.K.Singh
A nice poem: 'my shadow caught a different train' is highly suggestive.
R K Singh
2010-03-05


Zoya Zaidi
Dear Rik,
The melancholy despair is so palpable in this piece, in your inimitable style!
I especially like these lines:
"puddles of thoughts despair
tip toe passed the sense of guilt
neglect fogs the air"
Love,
Zoya
2009-11-01


Awenlimobor Sylvester
a classic blend of rythm and emotions, slowly sliding into the dark sinister pathways of the human mind.

i really love this poem, a good welcome back for me
2008-10-31


Kinna
WOW. Great poem!
2008-09-17


Esti D-G The PoetBay support member heart!
excellent and bookmarked
luvestix
2008-06-01


Christin Brennan
While I'm at it, I'm trying to get more comments on my poems because I'm so new...would you mind taking a look & letting me know what you think ;)
2007-10-17


Christin Brennan
Whimsical with a sarcastic tone. I enjoyed it :)
2007-10-17


Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
I know those black and white days too well - a beautiful poem of sadness and contrast

Elle x
2007-09-27


Winston Latanafrancia Soldevilla
A contrast beyond compare. How imaginative!

"Red rain In a black and white day" I hope the next time you toss
the coin you will get the head then.

Thought provoking!
2007-09-27


F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
i'll bring the balloons for the party ;) lol

such a desolate sadness this picture paints... feels like everything has been lost... it's like the character believes everything is sneering at him and not going anywhere fast, as is the usual in his life from what can be picked up in the words here ("and i lose again") ...

"puddles of thoughts despair
tip toe passed the sense of guilt"

and

"my shadow caught a different train"

i particularly liked for imagery... emotive stuff this one is... nicely done :)

*hugs* xx
2007-09-27