i really can't arrive at a title for this one, which, i feel, is indicative of ex poetry
Lately...
Not that I want to state the obvious
but I've got to admit that lately
I've been heavy on ladling the gravy
And without shame I can put it plainly
That my most recent rash of insobriety can only be blamed on me
But through all this I was made to see
A summary of what's been bothering me
And honestly,
I'm not exactly doing that fantastic
chain smoking like mad
burning enough trees to consume 2 log cabins
and let's not even rehash the alcohol issue
but keep your offered tissues to your purses
you see I can dry my own tears in verse
settle my own mind in words
and arrive at my own conclusion, however diluted,
but in truth dutifully find myself in writing
so when I find myself biting my tongue
trying to soak up the blood wrung from a brain overloaded
and with a lot of help from drinking and smoking
get back to a point where I can feel my favorite quote
floating on the top of my thoughts
instead of sinking to the bottom and lost
in the torrents of liquor steeped feelings I've submerged in the mire of my expired patience
and I've debated saving this particular poetic explanation for a rainy day that would probably never come
just stitch up my lips and remain partially numb to what I've been feeling
but that's not so much an appealing approach to being who I am
because I am not one to be silenced by myself or any other
and I'm frankly fucking tired of fluctuating between hating you
and wanting you as a one night at a time lover
so let's uncover the coffin containing the remains of our relationship
and shake the shit out of that corpse for some closure
i remember the first time I told her I wasn't pleased with the treatment I was receiving
half angry, half pleading
because I thought the waters of our attraction had no reason to recede past the high water mark just yet
and what do I get
a promise to work on some things and what appeared to be an honest apology
which brings us to the third or fourth time this conversation needed to be repeated
which, chronologically, came just before your shady computer maneuvers
the ruining of my birthday
and you straying from the fidelity of our bedroom and landing in the lap of that guy
then lying about it through clenched teeth and a serpentine smile
despite me knowing of the true insult added to injury
and did you really peg me as so absolutely clueless as to not think I'd see through the transparency of your excuses
empty pill bottle on top of the garbage like a beacon of supposed truth to your lies
I find your obvious view of me to be much lower than where it should've been
Considering my every attempt at making you feel more beautiful than Helen
More desired than Aphrodite accompanied by a legion of nymphs
And more brilliant than any woman who walked the path to my heart previously
And throughout all this you seemed, at very best, slightly less than pleased to be with me
And I just played along
Faked a smile and sang the song whenever asked how everything was going
Not showing that I had no idea as to the direction we were headed
Because my head was embedded so far up your fine ass I couldn't see the light of day
And I just wanted to love you
but you'd push me away
That is until you wanted to play, and play we did
Told me I was the first man to bring you to orgasm, shit
So catch a couple more before we've spent ourselves this evening
And I'll fall asleep beside you, on my side of the bed, listening to your breathing
And hoping beyond reason that one day you might reciprocate what I gave to you
But god loves a fool, and I acted my part perfect
Put in all the work, took bare minimum in pay
Overtime hours each day spent swallowing back the bile rising up my esophagus
And how lost we get in the eyes of a lover
Living life for another and not ourselves
And I did this for a spell, but who hasn't
And so I stepped out of the Mouth of Madness and into a much more suiting novel
Followed my own path back to the bottom of my thoughts to find those much needed
words
And so, after popping the cork on this bottled up verse, I can only finish with a quote
from our late friend Vonnegut, Kurt:
"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt"
Poetry by David W Durney
Read 648 times
Written on 2008-09-28 at 20:00
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This is me at my most soberLately...
Not that I want to state the obvious
but I've got to admit that lately
I've been heavy on ladling the gravy
And without shame I can put it plainly
That my most recent rash of insobriety can only be blamed on me
But through all this I was made to see
A summary of what's been bothering me
And honestly,
I'm not exactly doing that fantastic
chain smoking like mad
burning enough trees to consume 2 log cabins
and let's not even rehash the alcohol issue
but keep your offered tissues to your purses
you see I can dry my own tears in verse
settle my own mind in words
and arrive at my own conclusion, however diluted,
but in truth dutifully find myself in writing
so when I find myself biting my tongue
trying to soak up the blood wrung from a brain overloaded
and with a lot of help from drinking and smoking
get back to a point where I can feel my favorite quote
floating on the top of my thoughts
instead of sinking to the bottom and lost
in the torrents of liquor steeped feelings I've submerged in the mire of my expired patience
and I've debated saving this particular poetic explanation for a rainy day that would probably never come
just stitch up my lips and remain partially numb to what I've been feeling
but that's not so much an appealing approach to being who I am
because I am not one to be silenced by myself or any other
and I'm frankly fucking tired of fluctuating between hating you
and wanting you as a one night at a time lover
so let's uncover the coffin containing the remains of our relationship
and shake the shit out of that corpse for some closure
i remember the first time I told her I wasn't pleased with the treatment I was receiving
half angry, half pleading
because I thought the waters of our attraction had no reason to recede past the high water mark just yet
and what do I get
a promise to work on some things and what appeared to be an honest apology
which brings us to the third or fourth time this conversation needed to be repeated
which, chronologically, came just before your shady computer maneuvers
the ruining of my birthday
and you straying from the fidelity of our bedroom and landing in the lap of that guy
then lying about it through clenched teeth and a serpentine smile
despite me knowing of the true insult added to injury
and did you really peg me as so absolutely clueless as to not think I'd see through the transparency of your excuses
empty pill bottle on top of the garbage like a beacon of supposed truth to your lies
I find your obvious view of me to be much lower than where it should've been
Considering my every attempt at making you feel more beautiful than Helen
More desired than Aphrodite accompanied by a legion of nymphs
And more brilliant than any woman who walked the path to my heart previously
And throughout all this you seemed, at very best, slightly less than pleased to be with me
And I just played along
Faked a smile and sang the song whenever asked how everything was going
Not showing that I had no idea as to the direction we were headed
Because my head was embedded so far up your fine ass I couldn't see the light of day
And I just wanted to love you
but you'd push me away
That is until you wanted to play, and play we did
Told me I was the first man to bring you to orgasm, shit
So catch a couple more before we've spent ourselves this evening
And I'll fall asleep beside you, on my side of the bed, listening to your breathing
And hoping beyond reason that one day you might reciprocate what I gave to you
But god loves a fool, and I acted my part perfect
Put in all the work, took bare minimum in pay
Overtime hours each day spent swallowing back the bile rising up my esophagus
And how lost we get in the eyes of a lover
Living life for another and not ourselves
And I did this for a spell, but who hasn't
And so I stepped out of the Mouth of Madness and into a much more suiting novel
Followed my own path back to the bottom of my thoughts to find those much needed
words
And so, after popping the cork on this bottled up verse, I can only finish with a quote
from our late friend Vonnegut, Kurt:
"Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt"
Poetry by David W Durney
Read 648 times
Written on 2008-09-28 at 20:00
Save as a bookmark (requires login) Write a comment (requires login) Send as email (requires login) Print text
