My first attempt at a pantun (1234-2546-5768-7381) with the proper ABAB rhyme scheme...

If only I could make her see...


To My Mother (A Silent Plea)

I've lost the feeling of the rain
that used to soothe my hate-marked skin
So too those who once eased my pain
--I've blocked them out, and I'm locked in

Your love once soothed my hate-marked skin
before this age of angst and strain
Now you're blocked out, and I'm locked in
through bruises now my sorrows drain

Before this age of angst and strain
you'd never leave me cold and thin
But now through cuts my sorrows drain
I won't fight battles I can't win

And now I'm lonely, cold, and thin
you're never here to ease my pain
I won't fight battles I can't win:
I've lost the feeling of the rain...



Poetry by WildGoose
Read 895 times
Written on 2008-10-13 at 01:51

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Dee Daffodil
Losing the feeling of the rain...a very serious matter. That's right up there with going totally numb from head to toe...and yet...you still manage to write beautiful poems ! :-)
Hugs,
Dee
2008-10-18


Century
This one's ... just beautiful. I especially liked the last stanza.

You loose the feeling of the rain when you have too many sunny days, don't you?
2008-10-17


Aurora
I was thinking about this today and I suddenly got chills. The lost feeling of rain is going to haunt me.
2008-10-17


Phyllis J. Rhodes
I am amazed by the power and the beauty of this poem. It has depth and reaches out to the readers to come into the heart of the writer to share the longing there. A masterful piece done in a complicated, challenging form.
2008-10-15


Kathy Lockhart
this is so powerful. It has beauty in its sadness but power in the poetry. Amazing! bookmarked.
2008-10-13


Less Than I Ought
I hope that she will understand soon
it NEEDS to happen
*HUGS*
2008-10-13