Earth To Ashes

He was always wild,
A little
On the difficult side.
He was brittle,
Vulnerable,
Raw,
An ever-open
Sore.
Just as you thought
That he might be healing,
He would show
That he was feeling
As before:
Pained
To the core.

As he grew,
He turned towards
Everything that kept him
From moving forwards:
The wrong kind
Of people,
Of substances,
Of steeple.
Nothing worked
To improve him;
Nothing really touched him enough
To move him.

The only times
That a smile was seen
On his soul
Was if he'd been
Self-destructive:
Taking unhealthy
Items,
Taking his wealthy
Start
And laughing, leering
In the face
Of his parents, fearing
The worst.
The times they cried
Saw his pleasure
Multiplied.

As his life was ending,
His mind and body wrecked,
There was barely anything
Left to detect
Of his origins,
Of his privilege,
Of his no-apparent-need
To go over the edge.

Goodbye,
Son:
From your parents: Mother Moon
And Father Sun.

13:05, Thu. 12/03/2009.




Poetry by Mark J. Wood
Read 944 times
Written on 2009-03-12 at 14:10

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Marie Cadavieco The PoetBay support member heart!
Shall I enter the debate or just comment? Both, I think. I appreciated the short lines - especially those with just one word - since it focuses the mind on that one word, provoking thought, it is a device which can work very well, especially if mingled with longer lines. As for the poem itself, I was moved by the metaphor of the planet we live on being a wayward son in its death-throes. There is a sense of melancholy at the waste. Bravo.
2009-04-22


Rob Graber
I like this poem, and find William Stewart's comment very stimulating. I sometimes have had the impression that short lines slow down my reading of a poem by encouraging me to think about each word, while long lines speed me up as I try to link the larger number of words into a thought. I recall a poem recently that ended with a series of long, run-on lines that effectively connoted rapid, disjointed thoughts as if the narrator was being overhwelmed by conflicting emotions. In any case, this is an issue worth every poet's consideration.
2009-03-12



I like the poem. It has a story-like movement to it and is very poignant and thoughtful. Consider combining a few of the lines. Extremely short lines like this are very effective for poems in which you want the reader to scan through it quickly and to suggest rapid movement, but to me this story should be told leisurely and slowly. Very good title.
2009-03-12