Dancing Leaves

He takes my heart
and doesn't know he has,
with the aperitif
the olive sinks slowly
'Red or white', he asks
I say I have no preference
Champagne would be nicer
but I'm too afraid to say.
I skirt the entrée around my plate
while he dances lettuce leaves;
I hear violins, sweet pungent tunes
and hide my eyes behind
lemon scented candlelight.
When he smiles, I see into his soul
rich creamy camembert
spread in bite size morsels.
It's cold outside, he hands me my coat
does he linger, just a second
or does sea breeze cool an ardour?
'That was nice; I've always liked this place'
I swallow air, and watch sea lights.
Perhaps he feels it too
the subtle strains of beating veins
I don't feel the cold as it shivers up my spine.
I wish this night would never end
I'm afraid that if he takes me home
will I ever find my heart again?



Poetry by Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 469 times
Written on 2009-03-15 at 10:02

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Brian Oarr
"When he smiles, I see into his soul
rich creamy camembert
spread in bite size morsels."

Parlez-vous fromage? What a remarkable metaphor ... okay, I'm jealous, wishing I'd written that. There are far too many bad love poems on this forum, so this piece stands out as an example of what creative writing is all about. You've done yourself proud, Elle.
2009-03-15



This is your uniquely elequent romantic you and your best Elle! Scents shivered my spine. I loved the imagery of the food playing, like a beautiful concerto. smiling at you, Tai
2009-03-15



That's a very original and very cool image you have there--of the lettuce leaves seeming to dance around the salad bowl as your companion stirs them (as he stirs your emotions). And since from your description, this was a night for dancing and heightened emotions, very a propos. You give us a full plate of beautiful food analogies and even the candles are lemon-scented. You begin the poem with matters of the heart and come full circle at the end. And there's suspense: Will the persona of the poem lose her heart permanently? Will she find it again?

Regards,
William
2009-03-15



"Will I ever find my heart again?"
Or has it ever been lost... only the mind could not keep up with the movements and thoughts of the heart - is why it seems lost. Splendid poem. Excellent expression.
2009-03-15


Eli The PoetBay support member heart!
Such a wonderful flow in this. I sighed a large sigh as I read the last lines; not wanting it to end too.
2009-03-15