In my own eyes I'm a mentally ill person without major social talents, in my teachers' eyes I've always been able to do and give more than I do. And I have never, NEVER, understood what the hell they get that from.


Am I too late? Have I spoiled my future? Don't I have any good qualifications?

If I had the chance
to try it all over again
I'd try to make it so much better
I'd try and start a little earlier
so that I wouldn't have to
feel this
pain
I feel now

I don't see what you see
you claim I've got things but I'm
not aware of them
You don't tell me how to
get them to the surface
only that they're there and that I'm
not doing my very best

but I've been trying my hardest
I have, oh I truly have dealt with it
the best I can
You think you read me like an open book
but there are things I never show
you do not know what's going on
in my head
you don't know about the ghosts
I've been wrestling with

If I had the chance
to travel back in time
but keep the mentality and knowledge of myself
I have today
I'd try to make it so much better
try to start earlier
because Lord knows it's not young
to be eighteen anymore

I'm supposed to know
supposed to work when I'm finally free
to catch my breath and rest
You seem to think school isn't hard
and summer break isn't supposed to be free
I'm supposed to work
when I finally can sleep 'til 8.30

but then again there's these ghosts
that you don't know of
I can hear you complain about me being
rude and lazy
but it's not that fucking easy
to be sociable
when you've got two in the same person
I can't work during summer
'cause there is not one single job
that I could handle

They'd fire me right away
because my head is "in the clouds"
and I'm not good with others

I can't work with other people
'cause I have enough already
with the people in my head

I'm not adaptable
in many ways
I need to do things my own way
and if I don't get concrete orders what to do
I don't do anything
because I'm too unsure
and I'm not a leader
I'm pretty much a follower
if you tell me exactly what to follow

I've never been part of the mainstream
even when I was little and tried to be
like everyone else I failed
I've been like this always
It is not my fault
so please, please, please

stop blaming me
and start helping me

P L E A S E

/ A confused soul in an awful world



Words by Little Miss Sorrow
Read 535 times
Written on 2009-07-12 at 14:18

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You write with heart and soul, which makes your poetry special.
You know your weaknesses, some people don't know their weaknesses. You show vulnerability, transparency in your poetry which is appreciated and respected. You are going well, it is not easy to be honest and I value your honesty.
2009-07-13


Rob Graber
This is an interesting and touching plea. As poetry, stanza four I would say rises well above the rest, and even stands well on its own. It has great rhythm (though the third line seems a bit long--Delete "mentality and" maybe?) and a fine punch line: "...Lord knows / it's not young to be eighteen anymore"
2009-07-12


ken d williams The PoetBay support member heart!
Be as your are , not as others say you should be ,
Be your self , be as you decide ,

And it is never too lait , I have a friend had more knock backs ,
more than enough. She learnt from the tortoise , now free ,doing as my friend had wished fore.

Ken D Williams
2009-07-12


NicholasG
You have spoken for many people. Not everyone fits into the homogenized stereotype molds that are offered. We know what we are comfortable with and more important uncomfortable with. It is funny, they say never to judge a book by its cover but that is what is done to far too often.
I think if we can learn to be happy, the rest will fall into place.
Nick
2009-07-12