Tearing My Heart Out With A Thousand Knives!
(Inspired by newly found Napoleon's letter to his wife Josephine, dated June 8,1796*)You're tearing my heart out with a thousand knives
You're so beauteous, my dear wife,
You're tearing my heart out with a thousand knives!
You, whom I married just the other night,
Your eyes had slain me with their beauty bright,
I was struck by lightening that night,
When I had on you, first set my eyes,
Your rosy cheeks were my day and night,
Your luscious lips came upon mine to ignite,
The fire, which had smouldered in me 'til that night,
Solely from your amber flames came up a light,
Your two black eyes had slain me that night...
I was dreaming of you even before we did unite!
But, Ah! With each other we had to part soon,
Only a short while after the Honeymoon,
Hopeless sorrow, inconsolable misery, sadness without end,
Since I left you I have been constantly depressed,
Incessantly, in my memory, I live over your caress,
Shall I be able to live without you? I'm distressed.
Now I am waiting in anticipation to unite,
With you, my love, and to re-ignite,
The passion of that very night:
To kiss your lips, your neck, your heart,
To kiss you lower and lower still,
To explore your black jungle with a thrill.
-(Every word here is off Napoleon's quill)-
My soul was ready for the joy infinite,
When my soul with yours would unite...
But your delay has made me trite,
I am plagued now with doubt and mistrust:
Maybe your love for me was in flight,
Maybe it was just a whim of yours?
While I with passion for you am wrought,
Even the bad in you, I loved with might,
That escapade of yours a fortnight before
We were destined to unite; even that I took in my stride,
So much was my love for you, my wife;
It seems to me now you have made your choice,
You have found someone to replace me, my bride,
The knowledge that your heart is engaged elsewhere,
Has pierced my heart with a thousand knives,
Now it is filled with infinite pain,
What do I call you my companion, my mate?
Should I call you infidel, my wife?
Oh! Treachery! I can't even use the word!
Because we never loved each other in truth!
Cruel! Oh! Why did you force me to believe?
In a feeling you never had for me?
For six months you haven't held my portrait in hand!
Do you think I have not noticed that?
A thousand knives are tearing my heart apart!
Do not sink them any deeper, my dear heart!
Goodbye my happiness!
You have been everything to me that existed on this earth!
Author: Zoya Zaidi
Aligarh, (UP), India
Copyright©: Zoya Zaidi
*Dated June 8, 1796, the letter was sent from Milan to Paris at the beginning of Napoleon's Campaign. An unidentified Russian Woman who approached the Russian National History Museum last summer found it. She said that her father had brought it to Moscow from Europe after the end of the Second World War. The two-page letter is to be auctioned in Moscow next month!
Exploring Napoleon's relationship to his wife Josephine, to my pleasant surprise, I discovered he was a very passionate man.
Poetry by Zoya Zaidi
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Written on 2006-02-21 at 07:04
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