Title suggestions are more than welcome:) and constructive criticism of course:)




Interference - Mimulus

 

Take the silence from my lips Not out of pompous frivolity but out of effortless spontaneity When you smile the sprightly fire silently spreads and reaches my heart and I can only feel the feather light weight of your palm on my shoulder like when a butterfly lands, balances on a tip of a flower being voluntarily drawn and captured in the depth of yours eyes and the sound of your shoe heel one step closer. . . a breath away while our shadows meet on the marble floor ... becoming the silence

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photo: Wild mimulus bigelovii aka
Bigelow's monkeyflower
uploaded by
Stan Shebs on wiki.





Poetry by night soul woman The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 319 times
Written on 2011-04-05 at 23:20

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Stan Cooper
Very interesting write...

How about this for a title...."A Breath Away"

xxx Stan
2011-04-29


Rob Graber
The simile likening hand on shoulder to butterfly on flower is very nifty! What a contrast to the hardness of the marble floor. All told, I like the imagery--even if I'm not keen on the pink/orange combo...

:-,?
2011-04-07


countryfog
In a brief few lines all five senses are invoked. I'm terrible at titles and it would be presumptuous anyway. There is simply a very sensitive writer completely in touch with her feelings here.
2011-04-06