Music: Anna Nalick - Catalyst


Clean Mess

I'm a mess
but I never make a mess
quietly shut behind the door to my apartment
inside my head
I implode
inside my heart
I let it skip a beat, and every subsequent one

Because I learn from my mistakes
I am supposed to be happy and move on and allow them to be ok?
When I knew then – or should've known
and know now
There were better choices
better roads

a better me

I stand strong for them
pretend to be ok
for them
to inspire minds
to soothe hearts

But to let someone so close
he can kiss me
to open my door to someone
and let him step into my home
and show him my true, naked self
in tears
and not just the handcrafted, precise replica of myself I put up to the world

To let him catch me
hold me as I fall to pieces at night
to know my fears
and that I barely dare dream or wish anything
to know that I barely believe in myself anymore

but go on because I must
because I know I can be happy
so easily

if only I fought for it every day

To let someone this far in..
How could I ask that of someone?



Poetry by SecretWords The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 391 times
Written on 2011-12-19 at 23:24

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