Into Ruins

How can I define to you in a rhyme
My pain, melodically, nurtured by time

How can I make anyone feel what I feel
When all I know are lies, how can I make this real

Let me bring you down with me
As we walk through the fires, tell me what you see

Give me 18 years to destroy your worth
I'll be in your brain til you regret your birth

Let me throw you to the lions blindfolded
Stand your ground, see how long you can hold it

Let me sully all that surrounds you
You'll thank God for the worst you've been through

Only when your life hinges on hiding like I hid
Will you be capable of knowing pain like I did



Poetry by Leila
Read 917 times
Written on 2013-03-26 at 07:08

Tags Pain 

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The last two lines seem to me perfect--in content and technically. Ending both lines with the same monosyllable words is a powerful technique. There's a beauty in those two lines that's hard to define and I found myself reading it several times.

William
2013-03-27


Commentally Ill
makes me think of V, where he imprisons her and she ends up thinking he did her a favor.

also makes me think i never, ever want to piss you off.
2013-03-27



I agree with Joe's assessment, a searing, powerful poem, and very well written. I didn't notice this the first time I read it, but it's fourteen lines, and whether or not it's meant as a sonnet, there is something magical about saying what you need to say in that limited space. For all it's toughness, I really enjoy this poem.
2013-03-26


josephus The PoetBay support member heart!
This is a searingly powerful poem with careful consideration to rhyme. Your unchained speaker has uttered the curse of reciprocity on the former jailor with surgical intensity. A fine work. Well done.

Joe
2013-03-26