consummation


craft a smile from
a cherub's chubby cheek
and compose the eyes
of a poet

etch exquisite locks
of lovely rapunzel
when finally, she lets
her hair down

trace the carefree form
of a little one at play
and paint it the color
of vibrant

art looks out at you
from a portrait
incomplete
without your touch

breathless and expectant



Poetry by StillHoppin The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 487 times
Written on 2013-05-09 at 04:59

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F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
"and compose the eyes of a poet" - something soft about this line... I'm also consumed by the beauty before my eyes when it concerns my babies, this is what it made me think and feel about. A beautiful kind of consummation :)
2013-05-31



It's beautiful!
2013-05-15



Rapunzel, Rapunzel
let down your hair . . .

Maybe that is why it sounded a little off to Rob. Maybe he had that nursery rhyme in the back of his mind.

Your poem is a verbal sculpture, very physical and dimensional.
2013-05-11


Rob Graber
I find this one quite inspiring: art beckons us to provide the finishing touch. The alliteration in the opening stanza helps awaken the ear! I keep wanting to (mis)read the last line of the second stanza as "down her hair," because I seem to prefer its rhythm; definitely something to be said, though, for ending with "down"--on the downbeat, at that! The change would end with "hair" on the upbeat. That is, I am hearing "down her HAIR," rather than "her HAIR down." Just something to think about!
2013-05-09


Chaucer Whethers The PoetBay support member heart!
I can't think of anything silly to say.

This is a publish worthy piece of material
fully dimensional and articulated.

(just between thieves, where'd ya boost it from?)
2013-05-09



I love it. From the title, to the thought behind it all, to that final breathtaking line, it's beautiful. *Wow*
2013-05-09