Inmate


stagnated animosity
no longer calls your name

echoes linger, burning ears
with unrequited shame

vulnerability entraps,
the unrelenting cage

emaciated hopes are fed
a diet of stale rage

no cravings for the comfort of
an appropriated world

estranged, outcast, secluded to
the place where dreams lie curled

dormant and defeated
in a prison built of sighs

the glory of your being wastes
where soul was compromised







Poetry by StillHoppin The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 477 times
Written on 2013-05-17 at 18:02

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F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
"emaciated hopes are fed
a diet of stale rage" - oh... wow. I can't even begin to explain what those lines strike in me.
2013-05-31



Power in that text... well done!
2013-05-17



I can't help but think that the one person who should read this never will.

You've wrapped a tough set of emotions in a rhythmic and pointed cloak, the word choices and rhymes are all yours, all good.
2013-05-17



Wish I had your gift of working with rhyme. Clever scheme of every second line rhyming and they are original and surprising rhymes too:

world/curled
sighs/compromised

William
2013-05-17


Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
dormant and defeated
in a prison built of sighs

Those particular lines spoke out to me -we are so often caged by our own emotions

Elle
2013-05-17


Chaucer Whethers The PoetBay support member heart!
Just about as powerful and effective a poetic statement
as the hybrid Anglo English has ever whipped into articulation.
2013-05-17


Rob Graber
I like especially "stale rage" and "a prison built of sighs." Hope she breaks out!
2013-05-17



Wow... It's hard to describe what I'm seeing here. With each set of lines, the emotion and power seems to build. It's almost as if watching the prison being built. Beautifully written. I especiall love:

no cravings for the comfort of
appropriated world

estranged, outcast, secluded to
the place where dreams lie curled


*hears an echo of 'DamnBoyHell' from somewhere within*

Bookmarked.
2013-05-17