In Her Eyes

 

 

 

If the afternoon light

is low, winter light from the west,

I sometimes see myself

in Terri's eyes as we make love.

It isn’t the same me,

the me I see in a mirror.

I feel the heat of sex, 

but I see in her eyes the flash 

of my eyes, my passion.

I like the me I see, the me

Terri sees, lips parted,

breath short, scowl of concentration,

body tense, arching—me,

alive in a way no mirror

could reflect, a me that 

I will never see in full, for 

only in these fragments, 

in passion, does this me exist.

 

 

 

 

~~~

 

 

 

 

The subject matter may be unvaried, but the form keeps changing. 

 

This is loosely based on a Vietnamese form of poetry called Lục bát, which means six-eight. The poems begins with a six syllable line, followed by an eight syllable line, alternating, always ending on an eight syllable line. 

 

What can't be done, easily, or at all, in English, is to capture the musicality of the language, which is integral to the meaning of the words.This is a poor cousin to the real thing, but I wanted to try the form.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%E1%BB%A5c_b%C3%A1t

 





Poetry by one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 724 times
Written on 2015-01-27 at 10:12

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Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
I believe that you have captured "the musicality of the language." This very nicely written.
2015-01-30


Phyllis J. Rhodes
Fascinating!! The Song"Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman" has the line, "when you see your unborn children in her eyes.. you know you love a woman..." It's in the movie Don Juan DeMarco.
2015-01-28



I remember reading a poem in Spanish that said something to the effect that you see your true beauty only in the reflection of your lover's eyes. Very nice.
2015-01-27


night soul woman The PoetBay support member heart!
Very interesting about the Lục bát thank you for sharing!
... and if you ever joined an acting class or group you would have learned how to show emotions with your eyes whenever you wanted to.) and in order to recognize something you need to know it not discover it. Know thyself

I have thought about that as well:
"only in these fragments,
in passion, does this me exist."

that is not true. Only in these moments you feel safe enough to come in contact with the orgasmic you:D the real you when all of your senses are heightened and you exist in the moment but remember that the strongest are the most sensitive ones and that is why they react faster than others So if you choose to always be the orgasmic you You will be protected and perhaps one with everything that exists and doesn't exist(according to your current level of understanding) That is what I think I might write a poem about that one day in the future
2015-01-27



Poetry reasonable flowers-z .
2015-01-27