Paradelle attempt.


daybreak


all humor-sense has taken flight
all humor-sense has taken flight
winged away through wicked night
winged away through wicked night
all through night has winged away
wicked humor-sense flight taken

and thicket in the somber morn
and thicket in the somber morn
masks the churlish spirit born
masks the churlish spirit born
churlish thicket masks the morn
and in the somber spirit born

light takes on a weary shade
light takes on a weary shade
a vexing trouble to evade
a vexing trouble to evade
a vexing shade takes on light
to evade a weary trouble

churlish shade, the night
has winged away and flight taken
through vexing thicket, humor-sense
masks all in wicked trouble born
to evade a weary spirit
a somber light takes on the morn



Poetry by StillHoppin The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 463 times
Written on 2015-06-03 at 09:22

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Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
Interesting style. Kind of like a song. Very nice.
2015-06-06


Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
I haven't come across this form, you do it very well and have piqued my interest to look it up - it looks easy but i suspect is much much harder, I enjoyed reading very much

Elle x
2015-06-03


shells
I don't know the form either, but you certainly have made it work, well done.
2015-06-03


Chaucer Whethers The PoetBay support member heart!
I once wore a lightshade on my head at a party until either somebody turned on the lights or I grew lightheaded and was commandeered by the Federales Politboro as an alternative energy source. Does that count?
2015-06-03



I don't think I'm familiar with this form. It's deliciously complex and makes use of all the rhythms and tones of English--repetition, rhyme, alliteration. You know, all the good stuff. Well done.
2015-06-03


F.i.in.e Moods The PoetBay support member heart!
Bang, it rams into me. Don't know this form, but I see the impact of the repetition as you've demonstrated in these words here. Welcome back - you've really been missed!
2015-06-03