formality


fragrant flowers,
finest clothes
and sacred place

here

gathers love united,
with tearful embraces
and concrete emotion

here

bold notes could
tear the air asunder
(but we're not breathing anyway)

(not here)






Poetry by StillHoppin The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 478 times
star mini Editors' choice
Written on 2015-07-04 at 01:34

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LFD3
Oh, I've been here. I walked on eggshells during these formalities, I've been afraid to absorb the memories from the sacred walls, I've heard the echoes empathising before a tear has even surfaced.
2015-12-15


Editorial Team The PoetBay support member heart!
This text has been chosen to be featured on the home page of PoetBay. Thank you for posting it on our poetry website!
2015-07-09


Jamsbo Rockda The PoetBay support member heart!
Quite haunting. I hate to say this but my take on this is that it is about someone witnessing their own funeral. Very powerful and thought provoking.
2015-07-06


shells
Beautifully brilliant, for me it seems I'm at a funeral, possibly my own.
2015-07-05



My mind is tumbling wondering where you are hiding. This is wonderful, you could be anywhere. The reader connects because we've all felt that scared feeling.
2015-07-04


countryfog
I've read this half a dozen times and find something different each time. I can't remember the last time I said that about a poem. It could be a wedding or a funeral, a parting or a reunion, a sexual encounter, a dream of death . . . the possibilities seem almost endless, which is a rare and wonderful thing.
2015-07-04


one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
As with so many of your poems, repeated readings brings a reward as the images coalesce into something, if not vivid, nearly so.
2015-07-04



Very interesting geometric shape of the poem and the one-line stanza that is reprised but altered with one word and punctuation in the last line. A poem using formal structure fits well with the title of the poem. I also like the repetition of ''tear'' (that wet stuff) and "tear'' (that rips the air apart). Very concentrated and well-planned poem. Like it.
2015-07-04



but we are not breathing anyway

it's in the air
2015-07-04