~

so many poems of autumn

and what it means

endings/beginnings/death/rebirth

yes, yes, it is all that

and the winding down, no more tennis

not that i play, or runs

through the park in nothing but

nylon shorts and a t

but think of the hours in the library that lie ahead 

and the cups of tea and conversation

or no conversation, or some conversation

and messages from distant friends

and, maybe, messages from distant lovers

~

i have this line running through my head

i can't shake it

nor do i want to, i like it

and i need you more than want you

and i want you for all time

it seems the perfect time of year to need and want somebody

let's all turn inward

and find someone, and bring them to us

and share what we can

and if the fog closes in 

or the snow falls

and the nights are long, celebrate every moment of it

for it is a cycle

and the seasons go round and round

why the moroseness over falling leaves

surely there will be more

~

i rarely see stars

but once i did, there was a time in my life when i did

stepping out the door

on any clear night of the year

but especially beginning at this time of year

in the velvet sky of tesuque

and there, sure enough, was polaris, the north star

keeping bearing for me

and thee, and mariners on all the seven seas

and there cassiopeia 

and there ursa major, and there, sometimes ursa minor

and there cygnus

and there orion, and sometimes some or all of scorpio's whip tail and pincers

and the seven sisters and m31 and the moon

and the jet planes

and the nighthawks and owls

there were you, too, looking up

you loved the north star so much it became part of you

was it the math of it, or the beauty

~

i love this time of year

~

could i have guessed that reading confucius

would make me think of you

that such a simple thing

as putting on a pair of shoes would make me think of you

so many more cycles

and when these cycles are over there will be so many more

for this life becomes the next

and every possibility is realized, every one

~

my friend colin

grew up in grand island

a city on the plains of nebraska

his hair is the color of the fall grass

on the tallgrass prairie

and he is tall himself, and willowy

would that i could love him

but it wasn't meant to be

and would that i were with someone

but that wasn't meant to be

but maybe it will be, and when the fog rolls in

life is simpler

anything may appear in the ghostly mist, and does, sometimes

and has

~

this is what i hear, over and over

and i need you more than want you

and i want you for all time

it makes me sad and happy

~

quotes by jimmy webb and joni mitchell