Reflection

I sometimes think that as I look into the room
at the chair he sat in,
the crumpled paper
the phone he would only
reluctantly pick up
and then lay claim
that the caller mumbled

usually it was an errant boyfriend,
who if not disconnected
would traverse the quirks of my father
who would say
some
'blithering idiot is on the phone'


We learnt not to rush
imminent cut off
and a laissez faire
'you win some, you lose some'

The dog snoring
my father smoking,
it killed him of course
in the end
but he wouldn't give up

even after we flew back
from heart surgery,
he walked the avenue
to the shops
and bought cigarettes

He mumbled
and was always more deaf
in the presence of a certain few,
I regret that last walk
I treasure our fights
over crosswords

We didn't always see eye to eye
or even rub cheek to cheek,
my father never kissed
or really even cuddled,
he bought me a
cutter that cut potatoes into chips,
two sizes,
he planted me a fig tree
and apple trees

built me a fence
and then died
long after the walnuts had shed
and in his dying eyes
I saw his fear
It made me scared too.



Poetry by Elle The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 720 times
Written on 2015-11-01 at 19:20

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Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
I like this, Elle. You show us your dad, who, like everybody else, could be a pain or the best person in the world, and then you get to his end. It comes fast, and it's scary.
2015-11-02


Purple Phoenix
So beautiful and sad. You really have a knack for putting your reader in the picture Elle. Loving your work as always. x
2015-11-02


Ivan R
This read awakes so much in me, as well as on others as I see on the comments, because it is so human and so sincere.
You tell a story that is highly personal, but it resonates with the human experience within all of us.
2015-11-02


josephus The PoetBay support member heart!
My parents seldom showed affection. Guess it just wasn't part of their style. They did show love however obliquely. As your father did. We knew they loved us and they knew we loved them in some secret way that none of us could define but it was none the less for it. Great writing Elle. Thanks for giving me a chance to read it.
2015-11-01



This is a lovely poem Elle.
I know the love that runs through this even if he didnt show it by physically, he showed it in the other ways which are so charming.
I also understand the fear .
What a beautiful tribute with such incredible honesty!
Cxxx
2015-11-01