I remember the first time I met you

My downstairs neighbor Ray,

The one with Kaposi’s Sarcoma lesions

Was having a birthday party

In the parking lot

When I arrived home.

He invited me to sit

And I sat at a table

With three beautiful young men

And one of them was you.

I’ve been positive for twelve years!

You exclaimed exultantly.

I used to be a publicist in California!

I had a red Corvette convertible

And I dated (Famous Person’s) ex boyfriend!

You were funny, and exuberant

And a bit outrageous.

These are my Papillons

Laurel and Briggs;

They’re from the same breeder 

as Yoko Ono’s dogs;

And Laurel was in the TV show, “Hooper!”

I grew up in the Adirondacks--

Once, when I was a teenager,

I got into trouble and was mad

So I got on a bicycle

And kept riding,

All the way to New Jersey!

You have to come over for dinner some time

I’ll make steak and pickled beet greens

Or maybe galumpkis.

I went to your house for dinner,

You made steak and 

The most amazing pickled beets

I’d ever had.

David from the party was there;

He was your boyfriend,

Or maybe had been,

And maybe would be again.

He was sweet;

He’s not positive, you said.

I think negative people

are more positive, you said.

Afterwards, we went to

Your favorite gay bar

Where you were friends

With the owner

(He was the executor of your will.)

I was the only woman there.

We sat in a booth

It was leather night

And a bit crowded

A twenty-something guy

Wearing chaps with only

A black thong underneath

Stood with his back to us.

There was a loose thread

In the stitching of the chaps

It floated around

On the air currents

And brushed past

His smooth, bare butt cheek.

It was very distracting.

“I wonder if that tickles?”

I whispered,

And you laughed.

I’m making galumpkis!

You told me on the phone--

You loved the flavor of that word,

Galumpkis.

You want to come over?

You’d broken up with David

You’d cut your finger

With a kitchen knife

And were trying clumsily

To bandage it.

I offered my bandaging expertise.

WAIT!  You said.  Put these on!!

You ran to get a pair

Of latex gloves.

Tomorrow, (Local News Reporter)

Is coming to interview me

About living with AIDS.

Will you help me straighten the living room?

I can’t have cameras in here

With the living room a mess!

Did you know that he’s gay too?

You videotaped the interview

So I got to see it.

You showed him your array

Of medicine bottles

And he asked about your diet.

Well, I don’t eat any red meat;

You know, red meat

Is terrible for you

It has all sorts of toxins!

I laughed, because of the steaks

And galumpkis.

Will you come to my 

Doctor’s appointment with me?

You asked.  I want

You to be my health care proxy.

I moved here from California

To be near my family

But they don’t believe

I’m really sick.

I’m going to will you

Laurel and Briggs.

I don’t want my family to take them

And I know you’ll find them

A good home.

Your family didn’t understand

That you would have a really good day

And make the most of it

And then other days

Were not so good.

We got into the car 

To go to the doctor

Your cologne was so strong

That it almost choked me.

Do you like my cologne? 

It’s my favorite one, I love it.

Straight boys don’t usually

Wear cologne;

I don’t understand

Why straight boys 

Want to go around all stinky!

I want you to come over

to meet my new boyfriend;

His name is Gary

And he’s a nursing student

And he’s very, very nice!

I arrived first;

Then came Gary

Wearing a black leather

Motorcycle jacket

With chains all over it

His head was shaved

And he had tattoos

And cuttings and piercings

Everywhere.

He was soft spoken

And sweet and shy;

His face was beautiful

Angelic, like Cupid

He shone with an inner light.

He told me how 

He’d been homeless years earlier,

A drug-addicted drag queen

He had a picture

Of one of his performances

With long, wavy dark hair

He looked like my sister

In her fashion days.

He no longer did

Drugs or drag

And was studying

To take care of others.

You weren’t very nice to him

And eventually you pushed him away.

You called me at work again.

I had brought you to the hospital

The day before;

You were weak and dehydrated

And you stayed.

But you wanted out.

Nancy, they’re trying to KILL me!

You checked yourself out AMA.

Dr. Fish was fed up with you

And you got a new doctor;

His name is Dr. Slippery!

And he’s GAY!  

So he’s sensitive

And very, very nice!

Isn’t that funny?

First I had Dr. Fish

And now I have Dr. Slippery!

(It was Dr. Sipperly

And coincidentally

I’d vaccinated his dogs.)

You hated the hospital

But you were so thin

And your appetite poor

Even with the marijuana;

And the neupogen

Made your bones hurt.

A different hospital, this time--

I have cytomegalovirus in my eyes;

They’re doing injections

Sticking me with needles

Right in my eyeballs!

Oh, and I saw

An angel yesterday,

He was right over there

By the foot of the bed;

He had flowing blonde hair

And beautiful long

White wings,

All the way down to the floor.

And I knew that everything

Is going to be okay.

But later in the day

The morphine 

Made me hallucinate

And I saw spiders

Crawling all over the walls.

The next day, Friday,

Dr. Sipperly called me.

“Patrick checked himself out,

AMA. He needs

To be on IV fluids

And have IV meds.

Can you take turns

With the visiting nurse

To do meds?” I could.

Saturday morning, I visited

Before going to a barbeque.

You were so painful

That you screamed

When seven pound Laurel

Walked over you.

A barbeque?  That’s wonderful!

You have to go with your friends

And have a good time!

Early Sunday morning,

Dr Sipperly called

From your apartment

“He isn’t doing well,

He’s unconscious

And his breathing is labored.”

I arrived.

Your eyes were open

But you were unresponsive

Your body trembled, 

Each breath a long moan.

Your television played cartoons;

Dr. Sipperly went out

To get pain meds 

Just in case.

I hadn’t had breakfast.

“Patrick, is it okay

If I have some of your pudding?”

I sat on the bed,

Listening to you breathe,

Watching cartoons

And eating vanilla pudding

While your moans quieted.

Dr. Sipperly returned

But you were breathing peacefully

So the medicine was unused.

The doctor and I sat on the bed

With you between us

And waited

As your breaths

Became slower

and quieter

And smaller

Until at last

You sighed

And were gone.