Wangdi Gyalpo

2010-05-06
Dear,

Good work. I could feel the pain, as I went through each line. The feelings expressed is utterly authentic and painful. I liked the rhyming and optimisim of yours although it lay beneath the menlancholic note of yours "Suicide crossed my mind but that would be a sin".

Keep on pouring your feelings mingled with invincible words to create great work of art like this poem. Best of luck, and God bless you.

Small note:

There are some errors that I presumed are typographical error. Such as, in third line it should be THAN not THEN. In 16th line LET has been typed as IET. There are some other punctuation errors as well. Please do check it and rectify it. I hope, I have not offended you by pointing out your errors. I don't want the beauty of your work to be marred by some silly typographical errors.

2009-07-20
Just read between the lines:

Though it's reality that past has now lost its lustre
but am I wrong to believe that glitter will come in future.

From me... he hehe..

A great poet said,

If Winter Is Near, Can Spring Be Far Behind.

Enjoy the moment of loneliness as well...
May your loneliness help you to discover more poems. Amen!

2009-06-04
hie... after quite some time, I got the opportunity to read your work. I really enjoyed your work. Although melancholic at first, but rejuvenated at last knowing the utter truth of love. Liked it the way it is written with eloquence.

You are indeed right when you say, 'Which easily breaks any rule of physics'.

A small suggestion: in one of your lines i.e., (if it's genuine and true.) Wouldn't it be better to remove a word, either genuine or true?

2009-05-15
Overall: Nice work. I liked the spontaneous flow of the emotion that you depicted in your writing. Very gentle and subtle. Like the metaphor in your work.

Suggestions for your kind consideration:

Shouldn't in this sentence of yours instead of in it should be into ( action is taking place) , " As my tongue now probes in you'.

Do we really conquer our loved ones? Your last line. I'm bit in confusion. Isn't it that in love, we mingle with each other rather than surrendering or conquering. As when it comes to surrender and conquer, isn't it that one party will jubiliant, whereas other party will be melancholic.

You decide with your work. After all, you are the poet.

Good Day. Let your fingers discover many wornderful poems in the keyboard of your computer.

2008-07-11
Dear Ekisha,

I knew that by today or tomorrow I would get an opportunity to read your poetry as I came to know that your examination got over just yesterday. Keep writing my little poetess. I think you made a typographical error in the last line of your work. You have mentioned, " OR ARE WE ALL WAITING FOT IT? " I guess you wish to write OR ARE WE ALL WAITING FOR IT?

kEEP ON WRITING DEAR.

WANGDI GYALPO

2008-06-14
Great Work...! Indeed great work. It touched my heart, it's very good to know that there are people in Nepal with such a profound skill in writing. I liked this particular haiku of yours because of three reasons.

First, it expresses the universal truth and filled with optimisim.

Second, it reminds me of a famous line which Sheely or Keats wrote, although I don't remember who actualy wrote it... it goes this way.. " If winter is near can spring be far behind.?"

Third, I did mention about the same theme although in a different manner quite long time back in one of my poetry. I wrote,
'Although it's reality that past has now lost its lustre,
but am I wrong to believe that glitter will come in future."

A small query, which I would like to request you to clearify it. I too write Haiku. However, as far as my knowledge is concerned Haiku was originated from Japan. It has certain fixed rules particulary with syllables. The structure of a haiku is 5-7-5. Although some poets from abroad has taken liberty to twist it... but in my opinion I don't think that it is a haiku... then... because I found that to be able to express oneself fully within seventeen syllables is a thing....

2007-04-15
Well, I am here to comment not on your structure or grammatical errors. Although I came across few however, the theme that you had dealt with in this poem mars any amount of those errors.

Splendid it is. The way you have portrayed the agony and mental trauma that many girls have been through in such a small canvas is really good. The theme is universal. Many women around the world can relate to it and will thank you from the core of their heart for representing them.

Your writing reminds me of a quote, 'Twentieth century is not not the age of Kings, it is the age of common man' by T.S. Eliot. I liked the simplicity of your language. Anyone with a mediocre English can comprehend it.

We got some resemblance that is, both of us write in simple English and our theme and characters from day to day life... common people.

2007-03-14
Dear
Well I am afraid to tell you that I am not so sophisticated as you think. However, I am going to write something to you. I wish to comment that it is not advisable and wise to use archaic/old fashioned words such as Thou, thee and dost. You see these words are no longer in use, particularly from modern era. Apart from that it is not necessary that each and every person in the world will comprehened the true meaning of those words. So as far as possible try to use in current English. Onething more, always submit your finished product for the viewers to read it in any poetry portal. It seemed to me that you have not edited the poetry properly or may be typing mistake. Though it is true that poet gets liberty in using language however, that doesn't mean that poet can play with grammar. Somewhere in your poem, the first person personal pronoun 'I' is typed in small letter. It should be avoided.

Overall, your poetry is nice and I found spontaneous flow.

One last tip, the secret of good writing is not writing, it is re-writing. Edit your work as many time as possible. Sometime, it is advisable to review your own poem after long gap as during the gap you may gather more information and knowledge about your own work.

Bon Voyage to the world of eternal bliss i.e. world of poetry.

Wangdi Gyalpo
P.S. Try to provide some information about yourself in your page and past one photo too.

2007-03-10
Dear Tsewangla
I just wish to tell you that I am very pleased to read your poetry published in this site, masseyuniversity site and phayul. I am glad that you are exploring different poetry portals. These site will help you to attain stardom.

Furthermore, I am glad to read all those suggestion, which you have received regarding your poetry particularly by one member from phayul.... it is really helpful for you and try to rectify as per the suggestion provided by that person. However, I must also tell you that you should not rectify your poetry blindly on someone's suggestion as you are the one who composed it and you know it what is best.

One Small suggestion: As far as possible try to publish only one poem in any poetry journal/portal per day as this will help you to get more feedback in each and every poetry of yours. Its like if you have one sweet in your hand and if you offer it to somebody, that person will take the same however, if you have many then others will be very selective... in that case some of your poetry may be neglated. Take care...

I will be back soon....
till then take care

Sincerely yours

Wangdi Gyalpo

and yes, I really miss that word, ' Chik.......' you know what i mean.. he he.

2007-01-12
Oooppsss!

I am writing this short note to rectify the mistake that I made while writing comment on your work just few moments ago. Out there I wrote Poeteries as plural for poetry. I am sorry. Please take it either as Poems or Poetry.

Thank you.
Sincerely yours
Wangdi Gyalpo

2007-01-12
Wow! It is the first word that came out of my mouth, the moment I finished reading your work. I read it time and again and every new reading gave me new pleasure and reason to ponder...
ponder how vast love is... it is really a mystery...

The best thing I liked about your work of art is, the way it started... I mean abruptly... as if conversing with the reader. It really creates a deep impact on the reader as reader feels, he/she too is somehow connected with it.

I am not so good in Literature, however I thought of a particular genre of poetry called Dramatic Monologue... particularly written by Robert Browning... after I read your poetry.

Enjoyed it a lot.
Hope your artistic and creative fingers will find more poetries in the keyboard of your computer.

Take care...
And Bon Voyage to the world of Literature...

Sincerely yours
Wangdi Gyalpo

2006-12-11
Dear

Your work of art is really good. However, you got to be little careful about punctuations and use of letters. Such as, first person i.e. 'I' should always be in capital letter, there is no apostrophe in 'Cant' and 'Wont'. Though poets possess some liberty in playing with words. However, poets doesn't possess liberty to play with language.

And yes, writing such poetry at your age is really commendable.

Bon Voyage to the world of poetry.

2006-12-08
Bravo! Liked you idea of portraying human's flaw and hupocracy through your simple poem. Your work of art sounds genuine and authentic.

Bon Voyage

2006-12-07
To some extend I do agree. However, I fully can't believe that poetry is just the ability to manipulate words as poetry helps us to provide an outlet to our emotions, which would otherwise suffocate us to death. What I believe is, Poet doesn't make poetry, poetry makes poet.

Liked your unique idea of portraying your feelings in the form of poetry.

2006-12-05
Dear
I liked your guts of portraying your genuine feelings in your poetry. Your work reminded me of a poetry book titled, 'All About Women' by Taslima Nasrin. Please keep on writing. World needs poetess who raises voice for Women.

2006-11-29
You have very aptly mentioned the bitter consequence in the form of 5-7-5. Just a small suggestion... there should be three dots (...) as an ellipses. Isn't it?

2006-11-22
Dear Justin,
Salute to those feelings of yours which I came to know reading your profile. Keep it up. Love, Mercy and Compassion thrives on people like you.

Your poem echoes a melancholic note. I shivered after reading your poetry. Keep up the good work and let the light of helping other burning.

One small confusion regarding I have regarding your poem is that...If I am not wrong the word Rememberance
should be Remembrance.

Your poetry would be a real art if you omit that sugarcoated word from the last line of your poem.

2006-11-22
Dear Justin,
Salute to those feelings of yours which I came to know reading your profile. Keep it up. Love, Mercy and Compassion thrives on people like you.

Your poem echoes a melancholic note. I shivered after reading your poetry. Keep up the good work and let the light of helping other burning.

One small confusion regarding I have regarding your poem is that...If I am not wrong the word Rememberance
should be Remembrance.

2006-11-22
Liked your way of expressing you love and gratitude to your mother.

The only precious thing in the world is mother

If I am not wrong the word Rememberance should be Remembrance.

2006-11-21
Hail Mother! Hail! Only a woman can write it no man can ever dare or dream. Maternity is the only thing that man can never understand and feel. That's why, woman always remains a subject for man to study. May you discover many more splendid poems in the keyboard.

2006-11-20
Liked your idea of giving priority to needy ones like Whores. There are uncountable number of innocent girls who are forced to opt for the filthy job. However, people doesn't seemed to be moved. I appreciate the way you are using your art for arousing awareness. I too have composed a poem and an article on the same topic. Article's title is 'She' and poem's title is, 'flesh'. Hope you will go through it.

2006-11-19
Dear Seda
Your work of art is indeed a meloncholic one. I liked your sincerity and franknes. You pour out your heart in pretty manner. Your work reminds me of a saying, 'Fall in love and you will become a poet.' Your work is indeed good however I found some errors. Maybe its typing error. I don't know.

Few examples...
You can started the word 'can' with capital letter. I should be in Small letter.
I couldn't get what you meant by 'Id est' in the thirst line of first stanza.

Lastly you haven't given any punctuation mark at the end of each stanza.