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Current Mood: qui sait...
Current Music: "Crash Course in Brain Surgery" - Metallica
NOTE: 2022 07 13 08H10 EST Ramblings 612 -
Ramblings 612
Written 2022-07-14
Il n'y a plus rien à dire.
En réalité, l'intérêt s'est
Perdu autant pour eux
Que pour moi, et le
Tout est devenu inutile.
There is nothing more to say.
In truth, the interest has been
Lost as much for them
As for me, and the whole of
This has become useless.
Il ne reste rien de ceci
Qui berce mon coeur ou
Qui touche mon esprit,
Donc il n'y a plus de sens
De continuer ce chemin.
There is nothing left of this
That gently rocks my heart or
That touches my spirit,
So there is no longer any sense
To continue this path.
Ils passent leur temps
À se contredire, et moi,
J'en suis vraiment tannée
D'essayer de les suivre
Ou de subir les impacts.
They spend their time
Contradicting themselves, and me,
I'm really fed up
Of trying to follow them
Or of enduring the impacts.
En plus, je n'ai plus rien
À dire, plus de mots, plus
De raisons, c'est fini, mort.
Je n'ai plus envie d'accepter
Qu'on me niaise non plus.
Adding to that, I have nothing more
To say, no more words, no more
Reasons, it's done, dead.
I no longer feel like accepting
Being taken for an idiot either.




Current Mood: got the job in the end...
Current Music: "En himmelsk drog" - Kent
NOTE: 2022 07 10 08H32 EST Ramblings 611 -
Ramblings 611
Written 2022-07-13
- have come a very long way and it feels like it's finally going somewhere...
Don't want to let the mind run away with itself,
But at the same time, it can't help imagining
All of the possibilities of what this will mean.
For one, it'll restore my usefulness in society.
Two, it'll surround me with interesting people.
Three, it'll involve me in an important project.
Four, it'll make me well-off like never lived.
Five, it'll allow me to have my own life finally.
Don't want to let the mind run away with itself,
But still, imagining these new possibilities of a
Life I thought I'd never achieve is very exciting.
Some would say I should lower my expectations,
So that I don't feel too disappointed when they're
Not met, but the thing is, with the life I've had thus
Far, disappointments are in another league much
Easier to deal with, so I'm willing to take the risk.
Plus, my feelings aren't expectations, they're facts:
Things will inevitably be so much better soon,
In ways like they've never been before;
It's no longer just a dream, it's happening now.




Current Mood: want to write in my language...
Current Music: "Careless Whisper " - Seether (WHAM! cover)
NOTE: 2022 07 06 13H13 EST Une nature mère-poule, je suppose... -
Une nature mère-poule, je suppose... (A Mother Goose Nature, I Suppose...)
Written 2022-07-06
c'est un grand souci pour moi
que tout va bien pour tout le monde
pas juste moi
je n'aime pas ça quand les gens
ne se sentent pas bien
c'est vraiment plus fort que moi
rough translation...
A Mother Goose Nature, I Suppose...
It's for me something I mind very much
that everything is going well for everyone
not just me
I don't like it when people
don't feel all right
It's for me something I really can't help




Current Mood: energy = -5 (on a scale of 1-10)...
Current Music: "Marian" - Sisters of Mercy
NOTE: 2022 07 06 09H35 EST I'll Keep Wondering Then Worry -
I'll Keep Wondering Then Worry
Written 2022-07-06
- sorry, changes without explanations always make me wonder, then worry...
Ok, you got my attention.
Maybe you'd like to tell
Me what's going on,
'Cause if you expect me
To guess, that could take
A long while to happen.
Something's obviously
Different between us,
But it came so suddenly,
And without explanation,
It's difficult to pinpoint
What may have caused it.
Was it something I said?
Or did I neglect you?
Or it's nothing like that,
You're busy taking care
Of yourself and your life?
But if you don't say...




Current Mood: evaluating my role in life, what's most important to me...
Current Music: "The Answer (slow version)" - Blue October
NOTE: 2022 07 04 10H12 EST The Happiest Part of Life for Me -
The Happiest Part of Life for Me
Written 2022-07-04
One of the things
Which brings me
The most joy,
Inner satisfaction,
And meaning,
Is when I'm able
To help or assist
When it's needed.
Something about
Being there for
Others and being
Able to be useful,
Just does it for me.
Makes me happy,
Makes me smile
When I can make
'Happy' come others'
Way in that manner.
It's good feelings
All around any time
I'm successful at
Making things nicer
For people, so this is
Definitely #1 for me.




Current Mood: overview...
Current Music: (none)
NOTE: 2022 07 01 16H00 EST End of Interviews -
End of Interviews
Written 2022-07-01
We'll get back to you
In about two weeks,
After everyone's done
With their summer vacations,
And we make sure we don't
Miss a candidate that might
Be better than you,
You understand?
But whatever our decision,
You will hear back from us.
(Silent inward sigh)
Ok, thank you very much.




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