Purple Puddles

I marvel at how my mind can take something simple and complicate it, adding what-ifs and but-whys where they don't belong. The mind is used to thinking and what use would it be if it stopped. And yet we all wish for a pause button once in a while, at least once every sleepless night.

You: Finally I found someone who likes stuffed crust pizza! Mom doesn't like it and dad doesn't like it. Even my brother doesn't like stuffed crust.
Me: Yay! you found your soulmate!
You: You're not my soulmate cos you love stuffed crust! you're my soulmate cos even if I hated it, you'd love me!

Baby I miss you today. More than ever. It's really strange. I saw two dogs on the street. White one was sitting down and the black one was biting its neck lovingly. That's when it really hit me. I miss you. Just you. Not your kisses or your fingers or your voice. Just you around me. Smiling.

 I can easily see myself getting married to him, having kids with him, growing old with him.

And part of me doesn't want to.

Cos this means I'll never have another first kiss.

Another jittery heart

Another...sigh...

I can't begin to imagine it without him.

Another dream, yes. But what if I called him everyday to tell him bout my new jitter

And what if my new jitter was just him.

Cos heart's are flaky

And mine flakes out.

Flames out.

Flames In.

Flames out.

He's mine.
It's alright if I send him train confirmation messages
I can be insecure with him
I can show him I'm insecure about some things
I can be weak with him
Isn't that what you wish for sometimes?
Someone you can be weak with?
Someone who'll love you for your greatest insecurities...
And help you realise you've always had the strength to not only hide but fight them.
That's who he is for me now. and I know I can't give him up.
a drug that does that for you is indispensable...A person...

'Balance whoosh! :( loved the chat. :) whatever you decide I'm here-to talk about the gory details or the mundane ones! =D just put up the bat sign, bat girl (me) will be there in a bit! =P'- AWme, 24.08.2010, 12:18am.

Our first gory details conversation took the life outta our phones!!

Gory Details:

'Baby think u've felt all the parts of me I can comfortably let u...' To TanTan, 02.05.2010, 2:59pm

'I just want to lie in ur arms n do nothing at all...' To TanTan, 02.05.2010, 2:56pm

'Ur lips are amazing too..n next time i'm gonna rip ur shirt open! ;)' To TanTan, 02.05.2010, 2:49pm

 'Noone's gone wild over my body before..it's really amazing actually.' To TanTan, 02.05.2010, 2:48pm

I have to admit the one reason I liked him was cos he liked me for the way I looked. Never happened before.

To my knowledge.

'I like u. I'm attracted to u and I know this can't go very far cos we live very different lives...so it's ok with me...I'm upset now...but i'll make my peace with it..thanks for being such a sweetheart..I like the way u care..it makes me feel special :)' To TanTan, 11.04.2010, 2:18am

'Surprising that we r messaging big time.'  TanTan, 27.03.2010, 12:32pm

'Big time' is not the word! 4000+ msgs in total. Just 6 months

'Thanks for being honest and telling me everything. Trust is what matters in every relationship Ur amazing' TanTan, 28.03.2010, 1:11am

That's one thing. We stayed honest.

'Trust Ur voice is amazing. It's loud and clear. Impresed' TanTan, 27.03.2010, 12:17pm

 That's why he fell for me. He says.

'Hey u seem to be tensed. Don't worry every thing is gonna be ok. Tomorrow is Ur first day have fun. All the best I am sure u will do well and grow faster.' TanTan, 28.03.2010, 10:15pm

That was an awfully never ending moment in time.I told my boss I was leaving. He called him into the little room, suffocatingly little. I can remember being unsure. He wasn't. He knew this was good for me. Supportive. Even today.

'Ur hot and sexy anyways. After all Ur my gal should be that way. Wat say sugar?' TanTan, 08.04.2010, 12:14am

Day of the first kiss :) I still quiver when I remember it.

'I donno babe..I really really like u...but..yeah...it's gonna be tough..let's just take it one day at a time...n see how it goes...' TanTan, 03.05.2010, 2:14pm

I can fearlessly say it went well. Now I can say it wasn't tough. It didn't involve tears and I liked it.

'I'm lying on the bed without a shirt on...they are missing u ;)'  To TanTan, 02.05.2010, 3:40pm

I like his word for them.

Now I do.

'Try not to think too much babe! U've been very honest from the start so I don think there's Much chance of me getting hurt...let's keep it simple...what say?' To TanTan, 03.05.2010, 2:20pm

Connect the dots.

'See that's what i'm saying...i always stop u when I'm not fine with smt...so it's cool' To TanTan, 02.05.2010, 3:06pm

'I don't wanna hurt u any cost. If u look at life realistically its gonna be real tough. I keep thinking about it.'  TanTan, 03.05.2010, 2:17pm

Balance Khali..btw **** and I are 'friends with benefits' now..we talked bout it after snogging session..christmas party night..we realised it's all physical only and we can't tell anyone so it's random hooking up whenever sort of a thing..funny part is it doesn't interfere with us being friends cos neither of us have feelings for each other..good right?

-I've had my share of flings. Wipe that shocked expression off your face already! I've been kissed by a sloppy puppy, an over confident ass and a senior manager.

I like it when you say 'Oh Baby!', it makes me want to tease you more.

-I still can't delete these...

Watching one of my fav movies..Shall We Dance?

-Just added that on FB.

Missing you all over again! call if you can...

-Forwarded.

Fuck! I could write such a sexy romance novel right now :)

-On the way to Goa..we were sexting...ok...I was sexting :P

You move your fingers down to my shoulders just where my curls end and scrunch them up in time with a large hard kiss and you moan and I moan... 

-This was hardly a week after we met..sigh...

Miss you tons! what you doing? Cough better?

-He had a fever when he was here an curled up in bed with him and it was like sleeping with a giant hot water bottle...

I'm at my ancestral house in old Goa. It's so beautiful my camera is going mad!! 

-23rd Jan 2011. 11:56am