May 27, 2019.




deer in the headlights

when i met him, he was just as ill

throwing his hands up as soon as he got a grip on the steering wheel

i said mine shake and yours push everyone away

we'll never get close but we'll always feel the same

 

he'd say such awful things, about who he was and what he's done

admitting no guilt except for the fact he got caught

he came from a broken family, got shattered in the process, and then broke others trying to find the pieces that would fix himself

but they wouldn't fit no matter how hard he tried

 

such a beautiful human being who crooks his head as if it was the wilted bloom of a tullip

such a heavy weight his mind carries, that even his spine pays the price

such a hateful human being who takes bites from other's leaves like the bugs and worms he claims other people are

i wanted to take his hand and give him my overbearing empathy hoping he'd understand how life truly is

we're not burning garbage, we're a garden of ruined innocence

 

he'd say even i am capable of hurting someone because even deer have ate field mice

but when his flashing lights came blinding me and i froze

i knew nothing of revenge and i knew nothing of the words he spoke

because i was not mad at him and i didn't wish him pain

i wished him hope and the possibility of change





Poetry by aidan haskel The PoetBay support member heart!
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Written on 2019-05-27 at 07:25

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Yes, the imagery in the third stanza is bold and memorable and very poetically powerful!
2019-05-27


Sameen The PoetBay support member heart!
Wow, I love your imagery. The metaphors you use, especially the bit in the third stanza is wonderful. I would recommend, if I may, to work on the rhythm a little bit and perhaps tighten it.

Of course, that's up to you.

Thanks for sharing
2019-05-27

Texts




Vital
by aidan haskel