The Good-Bye Never Said
‘She turned away, but the autumn weather
Compelled my imagination many day,
Many days and many hours '
TS Eliot in ‘La Figlia Che Piange’
As I sat on the train to nowhere
It suddenly dawned on me:
It was over!
Years of passionate dreams,
Soul stirring loving, caring
fulfilling, craving,
anguished, agonizing feelings-
All coming to nothing
Nothing…
The days flashed back in my mind’s eye,
filled with tears of remorse and anguish,
of senseless loss and useless ambles
Into the realm of passionate sojourns…
My heart began to sink somewhere
Into the black pit-less abyss
of the wounded soul…
This is not how I had imagined the end….
No good-byes…
No letters sent….
I was saying good-bye to my feelings…
Realizing the beginning of an end....
All went dark before my eyes,
As I silently said good bye-
Long after you were out of my sight….
How to hide the ashen face?
The look of pain-
to drown the rain
of tears welling up-
But, not on the train!
I wanted to howl
Give vent to my pain-
But, all I did was to avert my face,
Stare out of the window and pretend:
It was alright …
And hope that no one would notice…
All the while trying desperately in vain
To stay my bursting heart,
Control my choking breath,
To stifle a sob
To muster up a feeble embarrassed smile-
Supreme effort!
And that moment like a demon of the past
Sometimes comes on lonesome nights,
Stands in front of my wakeful eyes
And asks:
‘How did you endure that night?’
And my heart again rents a bit …
Maybe we should have said good-bye…
Author: Zoya Zaidi
Aligarh (UP), India
Copyright©: Zoya Zaidi
Poetry by Zoya Zaidi
Read 1802 times
Written on 2006-09-19 at 15:29
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