when we were one, we made damion

—tim hardin

 

 




the heart and why of colin

 

 

because of our natures, our conversation

sometimes drifts to the intimate

because I am open, and like the sound

of my own voice, sometimes

he knows more of me, than i of him

 

~

 

it is dark, the highway north

is nearly empty, stretches featurelessly

into the night, our words float and dissipate

 

colin is driving, i'm watching my reflection

in black glass

 

it's nice, the ebb and flow of spoken thoughts

 

we've made this trip a dozen times

from the city to the vineyard

 

~

 

we talk about instinct, intuition

how it is that we know what we know

how it is that we are friends

how is it that we react to people as we do

how is it that we fall in love

 

we talk about love

 

~

 

how do we know

 

~

 

we don't get anywhere, conversationally

falling into companionable silence

 

but too many miles pass

the quiet becomes something else

something uncomfortable

 

until colin says, almost to himself

 

i was engaged once

 

~

 

we met freshman year

she was sixteen, i was seventeen

it was more than love

or it was love and something more

  

she was from a religious background

she was chaste, and though 

our passion . . . burned deeply, we were chaste

 

there was no doubt of our love

and no sense in waiting years

to fulfill what was meant to be

 

we told her parents

she would not disobey her parents

her parents said no

 

~

 

that night we slept together

 

~

 

colin is quiet for a long time

 

~

 

in time found we had made a child

 

for a week we thought we would be parents

for a week we were a family of three

 

then came fear

fear of repercussions

fear of the unknown i suppose

fear of fear

 

we went to a doctor

 

afterward, after the emptiness

she transferred to a different college

and asked that i not contact her

 

 

 

 

 

 





Poetry by one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
Read 837 times
Written on 2016-02-19 at 02:20

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Kathy Lockhart
Your are a fine story teller. This was captivating!
2016-04-17



I ponder on how the world has moved on and yet stays the same. I ponder, no, marvel at your ability to write in a seemingly effortless way in a few short lines and yet can entwine the reader into the complexity of Colin, his struggle, his mute grief, his vulnerable heart, his deep deep regret, and so on. You can embroider all this within the confines of an everyday activity, making this scenario tangible, a still waters run deep sort of chap and I for one am pleased that Colin has what seems a true friend in the narrator. Dare I say " nice" on all levels? The way the words are set on the page read in a drift along way, making them seem like a fragmented memory, suggesting this is not the final episode and that this relationship.is developing.
2016-02-20


Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
This is nicely written.
2016-02-19



There is such an intense dynamic in this poem between emptiness and intimacy. Silence becomes, at times, a liquid medium, in which thoughts and words "float and dissipate," "ebb and flow," and boil under the surface, and at other times, a vast and chilling vacuum, which is echoed in the landscape. Colin seems defined, at his core, by his intimacy. He is a "heart and why," he is instinct and intuition and love, he is "a family of three." And at the end, he seems to chillingly dissolve in the emptiness. Very powerful.
2016-02-19


KYREUS of Sweden The PoetBay support member heart!
Separations;
thats what life
is about
2016-02-19


Nancy Sikora
I feel so very sad for Colin; this story is very Romeo and Juliet.
2016-02-19