sometimes i just can't hold all this inside me and must write it out.




falling into the infected wounds of addiction

from the time i carried him

birthed him

nursed him

raised him

protected him

expected him

accepted him

loved him

ached for him

cried for him

laughed for him

acted a fool for him

schooled him

ruled for him

sent him out the door

i prayed for him

all those times,

i gave everything i had for my baby boy

my first boy

my son,

Heroin addicted son

tells me lies

steals from me

kills me every day

as he pleads for more from me

it is silent

and i hide it

as the decay destroys

ev er y

cell

inside my soul

so

i find ways

to live

clinging to sides

of the tallest buildings in my mind

along empty streets

my fingers are raw

my nails are torn

the weight of my withering body

pulls

me

down

and soon i will

just

let

go

when i look down all i see

are his opened wounds

bleeding out my blood

as i fall into myself.

 

 

 





Poetry by Kathy Lockhart
Read 796 times
Written on 2017-02-01 at 21:43

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These are the raw emotions of a mother. You have described them as only the mother of an addict can. Excruciatingly raw and painful. I hope that somehow he finds help soon. My heart goes out to you.
Ashe
2017-02-02


one trick pony The PoetBay support member heart!
there is nothing i can say adequate to the poem, so i'll echo Lawrence's words, it is devastating, and it is written devastatingly well.
2017-02-02


shells
A powerful, emotive write about a difficult subject that is so personal. I have no answers, only that I hope your "writing it out" is helping in some small way. The second half of the poem is heartbreaking, but there again, it all is, take care.
2017-02-01


Lawrence Beck The PoetBay support member heart!
This is a very well written, devastating poem.
2017-02-01


ken d williams The PoetBay support member heart!
Thinking out to both.
Ken
2017-02-01