"With distance comes closeness", they told me

Within the Autumn raid that fell upon my aching bones

I had fell into those everchanging leaves and buried myself deep

within the colder things that keep others at bay

I didn't expect to ever want warmth again when I knew I could get scolded

So I told myself again, "With distance comes closeness"

and I didn't know what it meant  and I knew very little of what it would become

But I started to hear it sing and echo through the wind until I tasted hope on my tongue

Winter came bearing snowflakes and I tried to catch each one

but I watched as they disappeared as soon as I thought I caught them

Reaching out to tend to the garden that supported me with air to breathe

was of no use when it came to the blizzard's destructive needs

At first it was taunting,

I had made such a drastic change in my way of life

hoping that I would become someone much stronger out of all of this

but believing in my heart that I wouldn't

But then came spring

I watched as the black eyed susans shot up from the dark soil

I felt the pitter patter of rain in my entire soul and it kept me awake

I heard life exist in such small little spaces that you'd think it wouldn't change anything 

Crickets every night, birds every morning

I woke up singing and went to bed feeling lucky

jut for another day and another night of brain storming

More time to write and more time to dance in my kitchen instead of drown in dread 

March snow came in and out of my life, just as a reminder

I remembered the sorrow but I never let it linger long enough to build its bridge

I was making room in my life for much bigger things, like happiness

I couldn't afford to let it stay and create my emotional absence

But summer was starting to peer in, 

and I felt my heart race as the temperatures rised

I'd dip myself into the shades of blue that harbored in your eyes

And come up out of breath

And so with distance came closeness

You can't lead someone to your door and expect them to stay if you leave it locked

You don't need to keep searching, you can admire the beauty in getting lost

When you stop paying attention, that's when the seasons hit you the most

They'll throw a daisy in your pile of snow

just to show you there's more room to grow

They'll let it rain in August in Arizona

when your crops have starting wilting and you've given up on them

They'll throw you hands meant for holding

necks meant for kissing,

bodies meant for undressing,

and long nights worth spending