I need it to be glacial
Inside my den palatial
I drink my Diet Pepsi
Imported from the Red Sea
I spend my wooden nickels
On smells and bells and whistles

Investigate the scandal
And see what they can handle
Invade the realm of summer
While playing dumb and dumber
Let's take the bus to Harvard
And rush the ice-cream parlor

You listen to the eight-track
And try to get your youth back
You grab a dose of whiskey
The muse is feeling frisky
You sweep the holy gutter
And dine on bread and butter

When will our joy be certain
Before they drop the curtain
So drive me to the cloister
And say the world's your oyster
I'm happy chanting vespers
Alert for heaven's whispers

At five o'clock the sparrows
Are dodging poisoned arrows
On thoroughfares of traffic
The words get pretty graphic
The dream police can't stop me
From drinking all their coffee

I see the meanest flower
Receive a gentle shower
Observe the skies of August
They're blue and full of promise
I'll write you from the city
You're looking awfully pretty

The weather's getting balmy
Your mother's from Killarney
A wrench is called a spanner
In Dublin and Fermanagh
But when you come to Boston
The streets you will get lost in

I need a glass of Stella
I need a big umbrella
I fix things in the morning
My work gets rather boring
It causes consternation
I need a long vacation

This summer's hardly chilly
It's all so strange and silly
You won't hear me complaining
Not even when it's raining
I'll show you what my pen did
And now this rhyme has ended