I have to rewind
The past is coming back to me to explode
I have walked and stumbled on a different road
Far from the ordinary people that made everything
I have written my own chapters, now meaning nothing
I searched for the meaning of beeing me
who was I, trapped inside, never free
I searched for proudness and joy
focused on the shell of me and that stupid boy
Not the things you people searched for
you got the fun part, just more and more
In other things that you people did and went through
I know I'm stronger than most of you
But I'm still far behind
searching for peace of mind
I've lost the battle in school
now I feel just like a worthless fool
Through the different seasons
I had my reasons
And now tears are welling up and I cry
but I know deep down why
But it's hard when you have tried to ignore it for a long time
and then you get some more mountains to climb
Then suddently it hits me right in the back
I have to stay strong to keep myself on this track
The shadows anguish of not beeing anything haunts me again
and I'll have to fight even more to get rid of this unbearable pain
Poetry by Malin Johansson
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Written on 2006-06-22 at 12:34
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