Shall I compare you to a meatball sub?

You are more saucy and more succulent.

You're puttin' on the pounds, ah! there's the rub,

But this is no cause to be truculent.

Shall I compare your belly to a pillow?

It is more chubby and more jubilant!

Shall I compare you to an armadillo?

Your body's softer, far more ... boobilant.

Shall I compare you to a bright rosebush?

At five-foot-one, you're only slightly taller.

Our senators and US Reps should push

To get your face imprinted on the dollar.

I sneeze like crazy when I sniff a rose,

But your smell doesn't irritate my nose.