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Series of Covenants with myself

Push Yourself

Dear Darling me
Lets try some tough love
today
Trust me its going to be good for you
The secrets that you always wished to
chance upon
will be revealed to you
one by one
and some at once.

And i tell you
this is not some sacred advice
but secrets i am sharing with you.

Push yourself
dear one
Push push push
i know you never got a chance to push
for you had a C-section
the trauma of which you still carry.
Before you got a chance
they had already decided for you
to make an incision in you
and you did not seem to mind it all
because thats how it had been
after the bacteria had invaded you
beating your low immune system
and turning you into its colony
You were an easy catch for it
for all your defences were already down
and finding you alone
even if you saw yourself together
you were game for it.

coming to the present
for the past
you have wiped away
with your tears
and
lets sweep you off into the present
which is such a good place to be
and here
you need to push yourself
push yourself
into more

I know you dont like to do it
for you have been pushed
and shoved around for much too long
and then you pushed yourself
into making it into your comfort zone
to just rest in the freedom of breathing
and the comfort this realisation brought.

And you already know the secret
of how whats meant for you
finds you.

But still dear one
while on earth
do as other mortals do
Push yourself
will you please?

You already work hard
and you are curious
just about everything
and you are interesting
for how much of yourself
you really bring into what you do

So from now
you will push yourself
more
and think less about whats on the periphery
You are the centre
You are fulcrum
Make efforts
for you are own load
when you hold yourself back.

Poetry by Sona